It’s been a year…

Today was the one year anniversary of Joe’s passing. While today wasn’t easy on me, it wasn’t overly difficult either. Joe has his ways of letting me know he’s still around. I strongly believe that the 5″ of snowfall that fell in Delmarva today was his doing. What I wasn’t expecting to see was later on in the evening when I went outside to have a cig.

I’d heard a plow go by about a half hour before to begin clearing up the roads (and they did a crap-ass job by the way). During the course of the day, since anything over an inch of snowfall around here is a “State of Emergency”, there weren’t many cars on the road after work let out. People were smart and basically went home and stayed there. After walking out the door, I looked at the street and saw a strange sign made in the middle of the road. Believe it or not, these were made with tires. I don’t believe they were truck tires, more like car ones (they were kind of thin) but close inspection (slippers are SOAKED because of it) I looked at the sign up close and saw it was definitely done by a tire.

Hearts…in the middle of the road. I’m unsure why they’re there, or even how they really got there. Part of me wants to believe that in some way shape or form Joe did it. This may sound crazy, I honestly wouldn’t doubt that it sounds crazy to someone outside of my daily life but I do believe he’s floating around me and a breeze or the random whiff of “Curve: For Men” out of no where are my tell-tale signs of knowing he’s around. I do believe in ghosts, there’s no doubt about that. I’m happy he’s my ghost. I could be crazy, I may have officially flipped my lid – trust me…it was bound to happen at some point. I just know that there’s no possible way that these were made by hand, there are no foot prints to support a hand-made snow pattern in the road that wasn’t there for the ENTIRE DAY OF SNOWFALL.

In other news, I need clients. Business is extremely slow and something tells me that I’m going to have to bring Bella to the vet sooner than expected. The change in altitude, and the wrong shampoo has caused her to be kind of itchy lately. With this itching comes excessive scratching and she managed to cut her head open and keeps continuing to scratch the same area to the point that the top of her head is no longer blonde, it’s pink. Her scalp is pink and the blood this sore has spurted out onto her little head has dyed her head. She’s also got some strange bumps on her back and I’m unsure where they came from. They feel kind of like…pimples. She’s always had a bump on her stomach, so I never really thought twice about it. Now that she’s got them all over, I’m beyond concerned about it. There’s a vet clinic down here that I can take her to but I seriously can’t afford anything.

This is also putting a damper on my moving plans. I’m finally going back to New York next week (I think?), I hope it’s to just cash a few checks and move within a few days. Sources (well…my gut feeling mainly) is telling me that it will take longer than I’d hoped. Either way there’s a lot of shit to be done and if things don’t begin to pick up soon then I guess I’ll be screwed. I haven’t seen my house in like two months. I’m sure Bella misses my father, she may even miss my sister – who knows. I just know it’s going to be an interesting couple of weeks.

I’ve been surfing careerbuilder.com and monster.com (actively) for jobs in the area so hopefully I’ll find something soon. I have rent and other shit to think about and the money being made from the web stuff won’t cut it anymore. I can live comfortably under my father’s roof because I’m only going half with things. This is full-throttle now, so I’m going to need more income and unfortunately the Internet just won’t be enough for me. Baby is doing really well with his stuff, but I refuse to live off his income. I guess it’s just the way I was raised.

In any event, it’s about 1am and I’m exhausted. I spent most of Monday being sick as a dog so now I’m slowly getting over whatever hit me this past weekend. My nose isn’t runny but I’ve been very dizzy and extremely nauseous so I have no idea what happened. Now I’m basically hacking up a phlegmy lung so I can’t wait until this shit is out of my system.

Night all.