A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, “If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you.”

The hippie of course says that he’d love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. “If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder,” says the bus driver, “You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you.”

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she’s in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. “I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first,” he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, “Ha ha, I’m the hippie! ”

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, “Ha ha, I’m the bus driver!”

So I’m up bright and early, as usual, and I’m experiencing some trouble with getting myself moving. My day typically starts with a drive to my aunts to check in on my uncle and make sure he’s actually ready for work. Unfortunately he’s getting worse so its been increasingly difficult taking care of him. On top of his down syndrome we’re now battling alzheimers and heart conditions, needless to say its been difficult. I’m slowly watching him slip away and its taking its toll on me considering I’m here five days a week to care for him.  This has increased to six thanks to the recent Verizon strike.

How could that possibly affect me?  Simple really.  My aunt is one of the managers for the NYC office and is now working six days a week, 7am to 7pm as only three offices are open in NY at this time.  She’s back in her old office out east. So there’s my connection to that.

My back is still pretty bad. The spike in humidity is making it difficult to get around, my allergies are also full force today, thanks to the cat hair at my aunts. I made the dumb mistake of rubbing my eyes and now I’m pretty much screwed for the rest of the day. Hopefully a nice shower when I get home wll do the trick on clearing things out, we all know there’s a hige difference between outdoor humidity and pure shower steam in the fight against allergies!

Other than that things are going pretty good.  I’m at a point where I’ve got so much on my plate that I don’t even know where to begin. It would help to be able to properly sit at a desk so I can concentrate but thanks to ms. Sciatica that’s just not an option. So I’ll continue to use the little bed/lap laptop tray Sean picked up for me until I can sit up straight for more than ten minutes. It kills me to be in bed all day but I’ve got no choice at this moment in time.

Todays goals are to get to the halfway mark on a site I’ve been tampering with all weekend, draw up a PSD for the hotel site I’m contracted on and get a few write ups completed for two other sites. On top of that my portfolio still needs to be completed and I’ve got to get acidgloss.net up and running cause there’s like $600 worth of pending articles.  I really need three me’s!

Today is one of those days where the only thing I can really think of saying is “WTF Mate?”.

I’m working on converting a site from tables to divs.  Now, while this may seem like an easy task (and typically is), I’ve found myself wanting to rip out my hair because I have absolutely no idea on where to start other than completely from scratch and implementing the remainder of the code.  Even ‘from scratch’ is proving to be difficult considering its a custom script where the creator obviously has NO idea on how to do anything.

The other “WTF” moment was a comment that I deleted from my pending queue, someone named “Mark” left a bit.ly URL for his website and what appears to be a valid email address noting that they’ve been here before, but lost the link (bull shit, bull shit, bull shit…yada yada) and informed me that my SEO is not up to par.  Dude, it’s a fucking personal site, are you serious?  #1, I could care less about SEO, and #2, if you type “Krissy” into Google I’m already on the first page, my PR rank is a 3 (no idea how I got that back), and I hardly ever, if at all, update…. so what’s the freaking point?

On a side note, I’m slowly coming along with My Portfolio and AcidGloss.net.  I’ve decided to keep ‘krissys-portfolio’ but the redirected domain is AGnDesignsNET.  The reason for this is it makes no sense to push everything to acidgloss.net when I do still wish to keep that as a blog.  So, agndesigns.net was available, I paid my $10, and now its just a matter of working in the content.

I’ve been working on some high profile clients, which would always look good in a portfolio, I’m also dumping all of the little BS templates that were in there for the longest time and really do not show off any kind of design skill other than my ability to whip something up in Photoshop in ten minutes and not think twice about it.  That’s bad for business, and a portfolio should utilize your best…and that’s what I fully intend to do.

The major rush behind getting everything back up and running is the pending write-ups that I need to do. I have at least 15-20 articles to write and have absolutely no ability to concentrate on my own stuff to get it done.  I’m hoping that within the next few days I can buckle down and accomplish that but it seems that every time I get some down time, someone kicks some work my way so thats an instant “nope, not gonna happen today” kind of downside.

Either way I’ll figure it out.  I also just needed to post here because it’s been well over a month, and while I do update twitter regularly, it’s not the same as sitting down for ten minutes and actually posting something here.

So now I’m off to continue working on the monstrocity that is client #3 for the day.

I need a cig