I was having some trouble locating my theme archives on my external and since I’ve changed to two new computers since the last time I was really blogging/working online I started to think I was never getting ANYTHING back. I then remembered the wonderful little website known as archive.org and hit up their way back machine to actually FIND everyone I was looking for. So with a major thanks to that free service I was able to come back to the blogs I used to read all the time. With that I’ve gone ahead and started to slowly add things back to the sidebar. There are still a few to add, but I was clicking through things so fast that I got myself all kinds of screwed up and forgot where I’d gone.
It’s kind of weird, honestly. Going back and skimming through updates make me wish that, to a degree, things didn’t turn out the way they did. It got to a point where I’d stopped talking to people for no real reason at all and even 6 years later I have a sense of regret about it. There were some good net/friendships that I just walked away from because ‘real life’ took the front seat for a change. I’m not saying I want to go back 6 years ago and stop the clock to before things changed. I’m also not saying that the conversations/fun I had with everyone wasn’t ‘real’ either. I know a lot of my issues back then were due to the fact that I was dealing with the loss of Joe, and then the addition of Sean into my life. I know that both instances had some sense of drama/awkward moments behind them. I feel the need to say I’m Sorry to anyone whom I offended or pissed off in the process.
There was also a time where my day was fueled by Internet drama via blog or hiding out on message boards with ‘spies’. I see that as a low point as well. It had a lot to do with the fact that I spent a lot of time cooped up in my room bouncing from design job to design job and never really got to see the light of day. I continued to go back and forth with people who, looking at it now, really didn’t deserve any of it. If you really think about it – no one is better than anyone else, we all have our own lives which are more important than anything that could possibly be going on online. While they’re guilty of doing the same things that I did, it doesn’t mean that either one is the bad guy and those ‘hard feelings’ should remain.
Basically stating, while I know it’s completely random and probably way too late to say it. I’m Sorry.
To any and everyone over the years whom I crossed paths with in a good way (that led to bad) OR bad way (that stayed that way) – I apologize.
The last few years have given me a lot of insight into who I am, and who I’m going to be. It really does take the loss of very, very important people for someone to wake up and realize that things need to change and you need to live every day as though it’s your last. In the last year my life has done a complete 180 and I feel that, while it’s been hectic, it’s been for the better. I’m in a better place, job wise. I’ve made it a point to write-off those whom were not worthy of being in my life, and I’ve embraced the friendships/relationships that I currently have because being surrounded by good people is all that matters in life.
Drama is drama, it’s what makes the world go round (real or viral) and there’s no escaping it. How it’s dealt with shows who you are as a person and that’s what matters most.
Again, to anyone swinging by that hasn’t been here in a while (for one reason or another). I whole-heartedly apologize.