What do you want now… my first born?

Sean and I have decided that once everything is finalized with this sale, we’ll never be purchasing another home. The process for buying a home is the most time consuming, stress inducing, bull shit situation I’ve ever been in. So many people, for the longest time, were just handed mortgages and then boom – economy crashed and there’s foreclosures everywhere. Now? The process is pretty much to the point where on top of the last 5 years of your financing, they’ll take your first born to seal the deal.

Originally we were going to close on Feb 28th, we were set to close on this date but then some random tax stuff came up for our co-signer, and it was then going to be delayed for another week. We were super happy to find out that we’d be closing on March 7th, then we come to find out that this random tax stuff would require information from the IRS that we’re having A LOT of trouble getting our hands on.  So, we went ahead and submitted an addendum to the sale contract and we’re basically sitting tight until the bank and the IRS can get everything worked out.

The issue? The owners are freaking morons. Their realtor was never given the green light that we’d be 100% closing on the 28th, so they decided that they would be smart to just up and move out the day before the original scheduled closing. For people who couldn’t afford to fix ANYTHING in the house, it surprised me that they actually had the money for a down payment on a new house. So while the house is actually in their sons name, they decided to just walk away. Now their realtor (their daughter-in-law) has gone as far as requesting that we move into the house before everything is finalized with the bank and pay them $1700 a month in rent plus utilities. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? Why the hell would we do something so stupid? Based on the issues we’re dealing with theirs no guarantee that we’ll EVER close on this house – so why would I tap into my down payment just to make sure that they can cover their own mortgage because her in-laws are dicks? Their financial problems are not my problems, or my fault.

For the past two months we’ve completely been at the mercy of the bank, who’s asked us to provide things to them that I feel are more of an invasion of privacy than something that’s pertains to the loan. Every deposit to the bank accounts, they want to know why it was made and a copy of the checks. They demanded all of the pages of the statements so they can see how our money is spent, and I’m sorry but the fact that I don’t feel like cooking on some nights shouldn’t be their business – how dare you question how often I purchase a pizza. They originally requested deposits, withdrawals aren’t their fucking business.

I’ve had to write a letter to the bank to inform them that Sean has access to his own bank account because it’s a joint account. I’ve had to write letters advising why W2’s are different than Taxes filed when they’re incapable of reading the “Other Assets” section of the tax returns (What the fuck is the point of even providing you WITH the tax returns if I’m just going to have to tell you to READ them!?) We’ve given them year to date income for the past two years, they’re demanding that we file our 2013 (even though by LAW I don’t have to do that until April and I haven’t received all of my 1099’s anyway so I’m going to wind up filing an extension).

We’ve had to dig out the paperwork for the lease for Sean’s mothers house, they’re also requesting he be removed from the lease prior to the sale, which is something that’s not gonna happen based on the fact that he’s her sole beneficiary and needs to be on the lease in order to take over the house in the future… so they can go screw off on that one. They also mentioned that divorce paperwork (for a divorce finalized in 1999) may be pertinent to the loan as well.  The level of prying is fucking absurd, I feel more violated by the bank than I ever could by a visit to a gynecologist.

So yea, this is a process I don’t ever want to go through again. It’s a constant up and down, and emotions are running hot because we’re past being anxious and are now downright impatient to just get this over with. When we were originally provided with our new closing date Sean and I went out and I stocked up on everything I could possibly need for my new kitchen. Pots & Pans, Cooking Utensils, Mixing Bows, Bakeware, Cutting Boards, Knives… everything you could need for a kitchen. The only thing we didn’t pick up were plates but that’s because the ‘patterns’ at Walmart are ugly as sin, and set that has service for 4 for $30 seemed extreme to me. I can easily pick up service for 8 from Dollar Tree, and that’s exactly what I’m going to end up doing.

The only upside is the fact that we’ve got a pretty massive storm coming through here over the next few days and since we weren’t moving in this weekend we weren’t going to have to deal with the snow to slow us down. I’m also kind of hoping that something happens at the house that forces them to actually fix it up. Since the contracts aren’t finalized, they’re still the owners so they’re responsible for anything that happens to it until we’ve been handed the keys. Is it wrong of me to kind of hope something happens? Of course. BUT that doesn’t mean Mother Nature feels the same way and when you factor sleet, heavy rain, and then about a foot of snow sitting on top of a roof that’s in need of repair… it may wind up saving me the $10,000+ that is required to replace the roof. If they aren’t willing to fix it to finalize the sale of the house… they’re stuck with a $1700 a month mortgage on a house that no one lives in.  Oh freaking well.


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