Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

It’s been freaking crazy!

Monday, August 26th, 2013

The past few weeks have been nothing but eventful around here, and of course that means I haven’t had any downtime to blog.  Going back to my last post, I’ve had a follow-up visit with Bella, she’s got a clean bill of health. I’ve got all of the paperwork together to send back to Del Monte and I’ve made it a point to photo copy freaking EVERYTHING so they can’t claim they never received everything I sent to them.

Our friend Colin came down last week, we were able to get a few nights of fishing in and a night of mini-golf but unfortunately Sean and I were overbooked so that was kind of limiting to any real fun.  It isn’t too bad though, we got to see our best friend for an entire week and while he was here we were introduced to a new member of the family.

smokeyLast week a little Grey cat showed up out of absolutely no where, and me being a push-over when it comes to something with four-legs I instantly said “Go get some food for him”, he ate, came on on the porch and rubbed up against my leg and from there he stayed. Knowing full well that I didn’t want to deal with another flea problem, we kept him outside, I treated him with Frontline (which doesn’t work BTW) and then was utilizing the Vets Best Flea & Tick Spray to help cut down on his itching. Note: That stuff works fucking beautifully when it’s used as a Mosquito repellant too! I’ve been using it instead of “OFF!”, it smells so much better. I just ordered the 32oz replacement bottle of it cause I can’t get over how well it works.  So thankfully with this spray (that my mom introduced to me when we brought the last lil girl into the house) it’s kept the fleas at bay.  I do believe that the stuff that the exterminator put down a few months ago helped quite a bit but thankfully we’re good to go.

During the course of the week a lady showed up at the house wanting to know what animal we were feeding and told us that he bounces from house to house, just about everyone in the complex feeds him so he’s – by no means – malnuroushed. BUT the alleged owner of the cat isn’t this lady, it’s someone else.  I then got a nasty look when she was informed that the cat was treated for fleas and ticks, she claimed that the owner actually treated him – considering the amount on him I’ll just go ahead and call BULL SHIT on that one.  Out of respect, I said if I was going to actually keep the cat I knew I needed to speak with the ‘owner’. So today I went looking for the alleged “owner” and found here with no problems (everyone knew who she was), the lady claimed he actually wasn’t hers and said take ’em, she doesn’t care and if anyone sees him in your window you just say “Too freakin bad, he was on the street long enough to be picked up and that’s that”. Someone else said that she was full of shit about not knowing who he belongs to but whatever, I wasn’t going to argue, I already knew he was gonna be mine anyway. I was only standing there out of respect, I didn’t care if I was told “No” when asking to take him off the street, clearly the ‘owner’ couldn’t do it – why should I continue to allow him out there?

So I went and contacted my vet, they gave me Capstar which works within a half hour and lasts for 24 for complete flea removal.  I was able to get that into his mouth (with a can of Tuna as a chaser of course) and then not even 10 minutes later I brought him to the vet because they scheduled the appointment ‘immediately’ (for some unknown freaking reason) and they did a complete work up on him, he was perfectly clean (minus the fleas), his bloodwork came back normal and he had no medical issues at all. He got his nails clipped and a much needed bath (he’s so much softer now!), and we were informed that he’s actually about 2 years old, he’s not the Kitten we thought he was. So…he was brought home and now he’s a member of the family.

I kept him in the bathroom initially, he does still have a few fleas coming off of him but thankfully they’ve been medicated with the Capstar so of course it’ll clear him right up. The bath at the vets office certainly helped quite a bit, I’m confident I would have seen many, many more floating around in the bathroom if they didn’t bathe him for me.

Karen and I (after getting him situated in the bathroom) left for Walmart to pick up the necessary supplies. We needed a second litter box, and food, and the usual “I’ve got a new cat” shopping spree. Two hours later I returned home with a crap load of stuff and after getting everything situated we decided it was time to introduce him to the rest of the house. Knowing that Bella was OK with him we knew it was just the little girl (Meow-Meow) that was going to be the problem.  She didn’t like him AT ALL, and normally for me that means OK, we’ll keep him in the bedroom and then slowly re-introduce them to each other.  The problem now is Sean is having a horrible allergy attack and putting the cat in our bedroom is counter productive to get his allergies to calm down. I’ll be throwing a Zyrtec down his throat later this evening when it’s bedtime for him.

Right now, however, the little one is in the bedroom with Karen (where she usually sleeps anyway), and then the little guy is hanging out in my recliner while Bella snores away behind me. Sean is down the hall sneezing away (poor guy).

We’ve named him Smokey, supposedly he was “Macey” to whoever actually found him first, but he doesn’t look like a “macey” and since he’s mine I can change it whatever freaking name I want.  More than likely I’ll wind up continuing to call him “fat boy” anyway lol. Who knows what’ll happen…

I do know that I haven’t had anything to eat today AND I’ve only had one cup of coffee, so if I’m gonna put in about 8 hours of work tonight (somehow) I’m gonna have to start brewing that cup right away or I’ll never be able to meet my deadlines.

Really nice weekend…

Monday, March 4th, 2013

Being 4 hours away from everything I’ve ever known has started to take it’s toll on me.  I miss my family, I miss my friends, and I’m always reminded of the friends I’ve lost over the years, especially in March being as this is when I lost two of the most important ones.  I’ll mope around quite a bit and it’s just a funk that I can’t seem to get myself out of.  But then, there’s that ray of light when you realize that you have one of the best of friends that anyone could ever ask for.

Colin and I met in middle school and maintained a friendship for 15 years, there were times when we didn’t speak to each other for years at a time but that bond has always been there.  That bond grew much stronger after Lucy passed away a few years ago, and since that point we’ve been a regular part of each others lives.  To make things even better, he and Sean are pretty much BFFs.  It’s to the point with them that I consider it more of a bromance than good friends, but either way the three of us are always happy spending time together and you can imagine my surprise when Colin says “I’m coming to DE for a few days”.  He did that this past weekend and I have to say, it’s gotten me out of my funk.

See, Colin is one of those guys that can be counted on no matter what the situation.  He’s always just a phone call away and will do just about any and everything for you.  Him coming down here for us proves that no only is he missing the crap out of us the way we miss him, but that he’s ideally one of the best friends you could ask for.

He got here on Friday night, we had a nice meal/trivia night over at Buffalo Wild Wings. He and Sean were on their XBOXs the rest of the night because it was pushing after Midnight by the time we got back to the house so of course it was a little too late to really venture out into the town being as we knew there was a pending tattoo appointment the following day for him.  Saturday was spent at Applebee’s, two tattoo shops, the arcade (with a super hyper cashier that was all over Colin) and Dover Downs because it was time to teach the guy how to use a slot machine lol.  He was enjoying himself until the Casino had taken the money he walked in there with but it’s the luck of the draw.  Sean did well, he managed to leave with the same amount of money he walked in with and that’s good enough for him.  I lost $100, but I can’t argue because I enjoyed my time there and that’s what counts.  We also hadn’t been up to a Casino in almost a year so the itch was there and all it took was telling Sean he could walk around Best Buy as the stipulation to even stepping foot in the Casino.

Sunday afternoon was spent with a quick lunch at home (He’s a sucker for my Mac & Cheese) and some video game play for the two guys.  I, for some reason, completely passed out after he left around 3:30 and then saw that it was after Midnight on the clock – my system has pretty much been messed up since.  I did get another couple of hours between 4am and 8am (tossing and turning, but I’m sure there was a substantial sleep in there somewhere), so at least I’m back on the normal schedule.  I’ve managed to completely flip mine, I’m no longer waking up at 5pm and completely wasting the day by only working at night. It also helps to be up early considering Bella’s going in for a grooming tomorrow morning and she needs to be dropped off by 9am.

So yea, while we didn’t really do a lot while he was down here we still all got to spend some quality time together that’s given me a boost of energy to get me out of my funk.

You really can’t ask for a better friend, and I honestly think this is the first time I’ve ever referred to him as a “Friend”, to us he’s more “Family” than anything.

It’s all coming to an end…

Wednesday, December 26th, 2012

With the Holiday’s winding down, I’m finally able to wind down long enough to actually knock out a post. I’ve pretty much been running around like a chicken with my head cut off since Thanksgiving. Work, as I noted previously, is coming in waves, but at the same time the tide hasn’t really gone out. It’s not the luxury of “Ok, I can take some time on this and then bounce back to this.” it’s been “Do it now, and faster!”

@AGnDesigns - Instagram @AGnDesigns - InstagramWhile that can get a little annoying, it also worked to our benefit this year.  All family members were well taken care of for Christmas, Sean and I did spend quite a bit of money on ourselves but it was on things that we both wanted (for a while) and desperately needed.  We know the difference between Wants and Needs – unlike anyone under the age of 16 these days.  We both were in desperate need of new desks.  I had my Mac sitting on a Rubbermaid folding table and being as the 27-inch iMac (2011) weighs about 40 pounds, it was starting to sink down in the middle. To avoid it completely caving in, we went out and got me a new desk.  It’s a super nice one, with plenty of storage and it’s even a little bigger than the previous folding table so I actually got the chance to organize things where I can still completely function without any issues at all. Obviously after Sean spent 7 hours putting this thing together (one warped piece was throwing EVERYTHING off) he gladly took a little nap.  I decorated the drawers with dollar store shelf liner so that they can list a super long time without getting destroyed. There’s more than enough room for the work phone so my boss can stay on my butt too heh. I had it across the room next to the TV because we didn’t have a long enough Ethernet chord, but that was taken care of with the addition of a ZyXEL wireless switch that now sits behind my monitor. It supposedly boosts the Wifi in the house, but turns the Wifi into an actual plugged in connection as well, so I’ve got the phone plugged into it and if I needed to I could plug a printer in to it. It was actually strong enough of a feed to handle Sean’s XBOX 360 for a few weeks as well, so obviously it works how it’s supposed to.

@leprakhauns - InstagramSean, after my desk was put together, began increasingly becoming annoyed with his desk. After drilling into him that he spends way too much time at his desk and needs a new one…. we headed back to Staples a little over a week later (this past weekend actually) to pick up a new desk for him.  The one he’s been using for years was a typical students desk with the metal legs, the pull-out keyboard and the thin table top. One you’d see in college students dorm, basically.  So it was creaking like all holy hell and we wound up replacing that one as well.  He found a nice wide desk that he was in love with, but it unfortunately was not going to fit in the room so he went with one that was closer to size (in comparison to mine).  He’s in love with it as well.  It’s very nice dark wood with a nice sturdy base, some drawers – finito.

While picking up his new desk we browsed around the store a little bit, and came across the Google Nexus 10″ – Android Tablet.  Of course I was instantly in love, this thing is more powerful than the Droid 4’s that we upgraded to in October.  The $500 price tag instantly turned this item into a “Want”. We’ve been bouncing back and forth about Tablet’s for a little while now.  Sean really wanted to see what the new Microsoft Surface was about, I personally had no interest in it at all being as I’m as anti-Windows as you can possibly get these days.  Upgrading to Mac has spoiled me rotten.  I don’t have to deal with excessive upgrades, daily virus/malware scans and the blue screen of death that Microsoft claims to have gotten rid of , but I’ve seen it on both Windows 7 AND 8 because it’s very easy – when you know what you’re doing – to trigger everything Microsoft claims doesn’t exist.

@AGnDesigns - InstagramEither way, we both were playing with the Tablet for a little while and found out when browsing through the Settings to get all of the stats that it was now possible (with Android – Ice Cream) to have multiple users.  This sparked our interest almost instantly, and we both looked at eachother and I was like “I want”, he said “Go get it” (cause he’s fricken awesome) and while I was pulling the car around (cause he was picking up his desk the same day) he paid for both. Turned into an expensive shopping trip on our parts, but we walked out of there with a want, and a need.

 

@AGnDesigns - InstagramWhile he was in the Bedroom for a few hours setting up his new desk, I was prepping the house for Christmas.  I did more baking in the past few days than I ever thought possible. Everything from cookies, to breads, to brownies – you name it, I probably baked it. I went all out for Christmas this year, because I actually had more room to do it. I know that sounds a little weird but it’s true. A huge living room and a big footprint in reference to the front end of the house, things just kind of happened.  The baking was really just phase two, we’d spent quite some time decorating prior to my even pulling the flour out of the cabinet.  So the tree was decorated, the bulk of the outdoors was draped in white lights and the rest of the house had random little touches here and there.  Thankfully, minus today, there was really no wet weather going on outside so my garland didn’t get all mucky and was nice and clean for Christmas. I was also really happy with the tree in the living room. With the combination of Karen’s ornaments and mine everything kind of came together that worked out really nicely.

Traditionally, families open their gifts on Christmas Day. Around here? Christmas Eve. I think it’s a tradition based on impatience but to each their own. Sean cleaned up this year, outside of the gifts purchased for ourselves of course. New shirts, plenty of toys and gadgets to keep him entertained and the guitar I bought him. I know I usually complain to him about how much noise he can make on his own (without an accessory) but at the same time we’ve both had a pretty rough year, him more than I, and it was something I know he always wanted. So I got him a nice stand for it, and a DVD so he can learn how to play and we’ll go from there.

@leprakhauns - InstagramI also got him some new Happy Feet, this is a brand that we were in love with long before Snooki put it on MTV. I’ve always had a pair, and so has he and his were worn to the point that his toes were going to start popping through the bottom. Knowing how comfy they are I changed it up a little bit and got him the “All Around” ones, they look like real sneakers and there’s about an inch-thick rubber sole on the bottom of them. They’re better than my usual outdoor slippers so of course I’ll have to pick up a pair for myself in the future but for now this was all about him and that’s what he got. So that was one pair, and instead of getting him the standard color variations I decided to take a look under the “Animals” section and got him the most ridiculous ones I could find – and his favorite animal – the Penguins. Watching him walk around in these is more amusing than the slippers themselves, but they bring a smile to just about everyone’s face so it was more than worth it.

I cleaned up pretty well myself. Karen got me the “In-Styler” which is a hair straighter I’ve always wanted. I’ve used a friends before and it was probably the fastest way to straighten my hair that I’ve ever used. Some people have mixed feelings on it, others use it totally wrong and wonder how their hair gets wrapped up in it. As long as you read the directions it works out exactly as it’s supposed to, so I’m bringing it up to NY with me while Sean and I head up there for New Years, and after I get a much needed hair cut (via Mom) and dyed (via my sister), I’ll be using it to style my hair. Mom and I are also hitting up the nail salon, I’m long overdue for a manicure AND I desperately need my eyebrows done it’s been almost six months and I just can’t fricken take it anymore.

As usual, I bought myself a few articles of clothing while I was doing some shopping for other family members and had Sean wrap them for me. There was a jacket at Old Navy that I’ve wanted for a while, and I was in need of new yoga-pants so I threw those into the shopping cart as well. He wrapped everything for me, knowing that he was supposed to actually buy the items for me for my Birthday back in October but never did (I oddly got a Christmas tree instead), so he switched Holiday’s but kept the wrapping paper basically lol.

@agndesigns - InstagramThe thing I was surprised about, however, was the ViewSonic 24-inch Monitor that was under the tree. I’ve been using a 17-inch monitor as my “Email Screen” for the past couple of months and it was working out pretty well for me. I kept my email completely on that window and when I was actually in Photoshop or Dreamweaver I would just load project free TV and watch television right on the desk, no complaints at all. So you can imagine my surprise when Sean upgraded me to a much larger screen. This was one of those items that wasn’t on my wants, or my needs – which then turns into a complete and total surprise. And that wraps up Christmas Eve.

Christmas Day was a completely different story – I was non stop in the kitchen. I was cooking/cleaning for a good 8 hours yesterday. I fired up the crock pots early in the day to get the sauce going, the meat balls and sausage wound up in the pot a few hours later and from there it was just the matter of getting the pasta in the water so I could get everything into the oven. I even managed to get a spiral ham in the oven with everything else going on. As soon as dinner was done, I had a quick cig and was back in the kitchen to clean everything up and start baking the brownies. Why? Cause for the most part the cookies from Friday were already gone and the ones that remained were a little on the hard side. I figured that some time of dessert was required on Christmas and I went the double thick double fudge brownie route – more than half of them are gone which – to any cook – damn good sign.

Then Wednesday comes…..

Today was supposed to be a day of packing, working and getting ready to get out of here bright and early tomorrow morning for the long drive up to New York to see friends and my family. Of course that hasn’t been the case at all. Even though I woke up relatively early, I’ve been doing other things (not sure what) but nothing that I had originally set out to do. I do know that a load of dishes was done, all of the laundry was folded but nothing was put into the suit case at all. I also needed to get about 8 or-so hours of Work completed because we’re losing an entire day tomorrow to the drive up to New York and lord only knows what kind of a drive that’s going to be considering the storm sitting over the Northeast right now. Thankfully, in southern Delaware, it’s just rain but unfortunately it’s A LOT of rain and the complex is completely flooded. This was heaps of fun when it came to walking the dog. I don’t mind the drizzle, that wasn’t the problem, the excessive amounts of water just sitting because the complex has absolutely NO proper drainage systems is 4 inches of just mud and twigs to walk through. Poor Bella wound up taking a swim on multiple occasions tonight just because we completely misjudged the depth of the puddles we were going in to. I also found out that my winter boots are absolutely NOT water proof. As soon as I was in up to my ankle, my foot was soaked and of course they’re too big for me so they were rubbing weird and my sock wound up slipping down – needless to say it was not a good experience for anyone involved and Bella only really went to the potty twice (usually she goes about 4 times) but she still wound up having to be thrown into the sink for a nice bath to get her color back to white, she’d turned into a muddy brown fur ball for the bulk of the walk, the puddles did help but it just darkened everything and I wanted her to be nice and clean for Grandpa tomorrow.

We’re hoping to leave here before noon, now no ones gifts are wrapped and I haven’t done any packing but that’s completely the plan for the morning so that we can get up there in a decent amount of time and have the time to stop somewhere on the turnpike to pick up a roast beef sandwich from one of the Roy Rogers along the way for my father because that’s his one and only request for my time in New Jersey on the way to Long Island. I’m also needing to make a stop while we’re down here to pick up some cigs (for peoples xmas gifts) and some fudge from Candy Kitchen as I promised other family members that I would.

I can honestly say… there’s no way in hell we’re getting out of here by noon…that’s for damn sure.

We’re only going to be up in NY for about a week. Sean’s father is staying down here with his mother while we’re up there, she’s got 2 Chemo treatments this week and then unfortunately she’s going to lose a week to sickness because she’s not getting the third day of extra fluids because they supposedly don’t do that on Saturdays around here, and she didn’t go in today – for whatever reason – to start the scheduled 3-day cycle. So now she’s going to lose a day and I just hope that George keeps pushing large glasses of water onto her so that she can stay hydrated enough to get through the nausea that’s going to completely consume her for the next week.

We’re ringing in the New Year and NY and I personally couldn’t be happier. Being down here for the last six months I’ve really missed my friends and family and just can’t wait to get home. Even if that means I’m not sleeping tonight just so we can get out of here tomorrow – I’ll do whatever it takes.

I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to get into my Dashboard for a while since the work is still piling up and this is a ‘mini vacation’ for me, so I’m wishing everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year! I hope 2013 is a hell of a lot better than 2012… at least we won’t have to deal with all of the Mayan Calendar bullshit anymore, heh.

In Honor of HUMP day

Wednesday, June 13th, 2012

So here’s the thing, I dont like to complain and I don’t think I ask too much……I just want five freakin minutes of peace!!

I have been battling this new crazy schedule of cranky baby in the day, getting absolutely nothing accomplished except making baba and finding the binkie (pacafier) my son loves to throw under the couch all day. Once my husband gets home from work all I can think is WHERE DO I START! Not only do I have my work that I get paid for to catch up on, before anyone figures out I haven’t completed it all day…..but my house is a freakin disaster. I finally got to the dishes and laundry yesterday. The livingroom and bedroom were glowing on Monday. What goes on in this house that I can not keep it clean for one freakin full day?

So today, my husband was kind enough to remind me that he couldn’t remember the last time I took a shower. I of course thanked him, cause REALLY, I can’t figure out that I stink, duh!! Anywho, I decide I am going to clean tub and take a bubble bath and read my book (maybe even finish it)……Lets see how this went down.

Wash the tub – check

Sweep the floor so its nice when I step out – check

Run HOT water – check

Find stopper – check

Find a old favorite bath salt – check

Hot water is nice and hot, bath salts have been poured in, book ready to be read. I undress, take first step into bath and wonder why there is a weird smell….combination of moth balls and amonia.  Whatever, it will go away, I just need to relax. I get all comfy in the water, reading my book by page two the tub is half empty…..seriously! No worries, I can work with it….I notice the door start to open, here comes the eefing cat. She needs to see what I am doing and use her litter box. Now, I don’t know if anyone elses cat does this, but she goes in there and scratches at all the walls, wtf. So I yell at her to get out…..and in comes the weird smell again, so the combination was that freakin cats toilet and my bath salts that were way too old to enjoy ever again. But the bottle is pretty so I might keep for bathroom prop.

Then my water gets even lower, the cat left door open so draft is making room perfectly chilly. The cat is now in the bedroom, scratching on everything, and knocking stuff over. All I here is “scratch, scratch, crash” I yell at her to get out, and she defiantly meow’s back at me! It just keeps going, finally four pages into my book, a qaurter filled cold bubble bath and amonia/moth ball filled room later, I get out of tub, kick cat out of room. Put on same old house pants I started with, and will go make dinner.

I just want five freakin minutes! I guess when I take my SHOWER, after dinner I can count it as a rest from my house.

To be or Not to be….Offended?

Monday, June 4th, 2012

So as a new mommy, I admit that I do not have many other mommy friends with children the same age. Most have children 3yrs and up or no children at all. I know that this will all change once my son starts going to some sort of school, but in the meantime, we take what we can get. When my son was first born, I was happy to re-kindle a friendship from past with a new mommy to a little boy only 2 months older than mine. Niether of us were working so we would have playdates almost every day. Once my friend got a job, we really didn’t get to see each other. The phone calls and texts became fewer and longer inbetween, then stopped all together. Not in a bad way, just in a I’m busy kinda way. I never thought that we had become non-friends. So when it was approaching her sons first birthday, I received a random group text about the hosting a party (a tupperware type thing) to help raise funds to throw the party about a month before. Then as usual, I never heard anything else.

Last week it dawned on me that I had not heard anything else, and decided to check her facebook….I was shocked to see that she was posting about getting ready for the partty, and that the invites had gone out, yada yada yada. I simply could not resist, I texted her in a fashion that seemed as if I didn’t see this information: “Someone’s big 1st birthday is coming up! It went so fast, can’t believe we haven’t seen each other, we must have a playdate soon!” her reply: “I thought you hated me or something! Im having a bday bbq on sat u should come! Im so glad 2 hear from u!!!” It seemed she had this feeling, but I did, and don’t, know why? At the same time I was completely offended that she hadn’t picked up a phone, or sent my son an invite. I happen to be one of those people that over analysis a situation, for two reasons. One is that I really do want to be a kind person and see the best in all, and second I want to make sure that I was not going crazy and really did not do something wrong to cause this situation.

Fast forward to the morning of the party. I start my over analysis, and question if I should really go to the party. If I don’t go, I would simply text her on Monday to explain that I was offended, and didn’t really feel comfortable attending since we didn’t receive a real invite. Then I cross examined myself and thought, since she extended the invite, even if it was by text, that it would be rude not to make an appearance.  I went back and forth with myself for about an hour n half  before finally deciding I was being silly and to just go. Offended or not, it was proper etiquette  to attend. And figured if it was wierd; we had made our appereance and we could just leave.

When we turned onto her block it was chuck full of cars, I found a spot a block away and headed towards the house. The front yard was covered in a bouncy house, thru to the backyard covered in a huge tent with a dozen tables and chairs, a professional sized grill, five large coolers filled with beer, wine, water, juice boxes, and other adult cocktail mixes. On another table, they served penne al a vodka, sausage n peppers, pulled pork, potato salad, cole slaw, pasta salad, corn on the cobb, hambergers and hot dogs. The tent was decorated with tons of balloons, and there were people EVERYWHERE! This was no ordinary 1st bday, this was for the adults….(in kicked my reasoning for being offended! This was a big affair, and obviously invites had to have been sent, I was offended again!) I immediately called my husband and told him, “get in the shower, you are coming to this party! Im the only one by myself with a baby” I usually don’t make my husband attend such events cause he gets board and annoyed. I wound up having the best time, enjoyed the food, music, and other guests. I didn’t feel wierd at all, and it turned out to be such a fun day for my whole family. So offended or not, I chalk it up to a good time that would never had been if I had kept that negativity of being offended run thru my viens.

Curious though, would you have been offended?

RECLAIM YOUR SUMMER KIT

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Embrace all the fun that summer has to offer while keeping your skin looking its youthful best with our exclusive Reclaim Your Summer Kit. This collection includes everything you and your Customers need to achieve a “sun-kissed” glow while protecting your body from head to toe.  

Value: $227
Retail Price: $202
Preferred Customer Price: $178

 

 

 

Act now. This collection is available until July 31, 2012, at 11:59 p.m. PDT, or while supplies last.

The first three people to place this order will also receive a R+F Beach Towel, as a gift from ME!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

muir@agndesigns.net

muir.myrandf.com

 

Roll away the signs of SUMMER!

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012

Roll away the signs of summer!

Step 1 exfoliates the dead skin from the sun.

Step 2 refines the pores and,

Step 3 gives you the perfect sunscreen protection while keeping your skin soft.

Then at night after a long day outdoors, you ROLL!

Message me on how to get started! Give up the caramel look to your summer skin! Be SURE to wear a hat!

Plus for the month of June, anyone who places an order will receive ESSENTIALS SPF 30 Body Sunscreen, a lightweight, non-sticky and non-greasy broad spectrum sunscreen. It contains dimethicone to protect skin’s moisture barrier, antioxidant vitamins C and E to absorb damaging free radicals and anti-inflammatory ingredients to protect skin from environmental stress. I am adding this gift to anyone who places an order starting today 05/29 adding 3 extra days 🙂

muir@agndesigns.net

muir.myrandf.com

 

Father’s Day Special

Thursday, May 24th, 2012

 

This Father’s Day, show dad that he’s the greatest by giving him a gift  that’s just for him with the Rodan + Fields® Just fore DAD Flash Deal.

 

Featuring everything dad needs to protect his skin from the sun’s damaging

rays, on and off the golf course: ANTI-AGE Age Shield Hand Balm SPF 30,

REVERSE Broad Spectrum SPF 50+ Sunscreen and ESSENTIALS Lip Shield

SPF 25. Best of all—he never has to know you saved over 25%.

Now this SOLD OUT in under 24hours….I will make my own gift of the same products, but different packaging. I promise it will be just as nice if not better!

Valued at $105. Special Includes

ANTI-AGE Age Shield Hand Balm SPF 30,

REVERSE Broad Spectrum SPF 50+ Sunscreen

and ESSENTIALS Lip Shield SPF 25

Contact me today for pricing and order/ship dates. I will also be providing further specials, such as free shipping and an additional 10% off.

muir@agndesigns.net

muir.myrandf.com

Rodan + Fields – Mother’s Day Deals!

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

Rodan & Fields - Mother's Day   So this Mother’s Day, give the gift of beautiful skin! Plus not only am I promoting this limited time offer, I will also pay the one time preferred customer fee for anyone that wants to sign up with there order…..so here is what you get:

ANTI-AGE Multi-Function Eye Cream, Eye Cloths

and complimentary Rodan + Fields Eye Mask

As a preferred customer you also get FREE SHIPPING + 10% OFF for the life of your orders. And as a special bonus, I personally will pay the one time preferred customer registration fee! So what are you waiting for contact me to place your orders TODAY!!

muir@agndesigns.net

https://muir.myrandf.com/Shop/Product/ELYM001

I finally did it!

Sunday, April 8th, 2012

After almost a year of “I need to buckle down” mentality, I finally sat down this week and began the next chapter of Krissy.nu.  Not only is there finally a nifty new theme, but I’m also bringing on a guest blogger to keep things moving forward.  There will be no more months-on-end of absolutely no posting on my part.

So what’s been going on since NOVEMBER?! Not much really, life has been it’s usual constant up and down, things have been pretty busy – work wise – and my personal life in general isn’t really bad at all.  I’ve purged a lot of excess baggage and drama out of my life and am now moving forward with a more positive attitude, and much left aggravation in my life as well.

It’s my goal for the next couple of weeks to go full force into regular blog entries and updates, plus I’m bringing Muir on for some interesting news for all you ladies out there interested in properly taking care of your skin.  She’s not only a dear friend of mine, but a consultant for Rodan & Fields – the creators of Proactive.   I also recently hired her as a lead consultant and manager for AGn Designs.

Needless to say…things are gonna pick up 🙂

Rest In Peace Jake

Sunday, November 20th, 2011

As previously posted, my neighbor was hospitalized after we found him in his apartment. Unfortunately, due to circumstances, he’s no longer with us. He was in he hospital for about a week, numerous different specialists came in to look at his charts, run tests, and try to figure out what they can do to help him.  The family found that the reason for his passing out was due to a major stroke on his left side, being as he was under sedation they had no real idea as to how badly this was going to effect him.

They slowly began to take him off of sedation but he was still unresponsive. After a week the doctors said that he really should show some signs of life other than the machines keeping him alive.  They’d taken him off the ventilator a few times over the course of the week but he failed miserably to breath on his own. His daughter noted that he was just lifeless and blank.  They found that his entire right side was paralyzed due to he stroke, and his heart was only functioning at 25%.  The family had to make the unfortunate choice of removing the life support due to this.

Jake wasn’t one of those guys that would be OK living on life support in a hospital / nursing home.  Knowing his personality, and who he was in general – having anyone make a fuss about him was just something he didn’t tolerate. He was surrounded with love and caring people but never wanted to bother anyone, no matter how he was feeling.  I always ran errands for him, and had to make it clear everytime that it was never an inconvenience to me.  Looking after someone is second nature for me, especially considering his closest family was a half hour away.  I believe in my heart if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew his routine, he wouldn’t have been found in his apartment until it was too late.  His family had the opportunity to say goodbye to him, and even though I didn’t, and it hurts really bad, things happening the way that they did were better for them.

I didn’t get the phone call until a week later, which was upsetting but I can’t totally be pissed because I understand that families in that situation have so much more going on.  I’ve spoken to his son and daughter since then, his daughter was up here for two days this past week to clear his apartment out. A lot was left behind for donations/trash but there’s still a few weeks left in the month to clear the rest out.  I know it was hard for her to go through everything.  She noted on Friday that she wanted to knock on the door to thank me for all I’ve done but also said that she’s fine and on auto-pilot until she actually needs to speak with someone.  That’s understandable for me, I personally don’t know where my mind is going to be if I was ever put into her shoes.  I know at some point in the future I will be, but can’t mentally comprehend or stomach that thought right now.  It actually turns my stomach to even think about that.

Either way. Jake was a wonderful man whom was a dear, dear friend of mine and he will be truly missed.  He was there for me when Lucy passed away and remained in my life for a few years there after.  His spirit was always there, unfortunately his body was holding him back.  I catch myself talking to him when I’m outside having a cig, in my head things haven’t fully set in being as the memorial service is not scheduled until the end of the month. I believe after that point, and his apartment being completely cleared out – things will finally hit me to the point that I have the breakdown that I feel coming on.  I’m not on auto-pilot by any means, I’ll admit I’ve been out of it, and weapy for the past week.  Today is really the first day I’ve sat down and got my feelings out.

I know I don’t blog very often, and when I do I tend to complain or have some major life changing event going on.  Regardless, I’ll still use this as my outlet because I tend to revert back to old habits when the shit hits the fan.

Woah there!

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

It’s been a pretty eventful couple of weeks, some good events, some bad events.

We finally got back to NY very early on Wednesday (26th), we were so busy with everything in DE that we just didn’t have the chance to come home until then. We left at like Midnight on Tuesday, and got home about 5am.  We stopped along the way because 4 1/2 hours in a car is just annoying without some kind of a release, which is probably why I’m not thrilled about the idea of going across country in an RV.

We came home and found that there was little to no work and began to worry considering we need to come up with anywhere from $35k to $50k in order to even truly consider moving forward with purchasing a home in DE.  There’s too much debt to pay off before we throw a mortgage and utilities on top of it. So we figure, just continue to work our asses off and go from there. We were at a complete and total stand still for about 4 days and now things are slowly beginning to trickle in. Today, I was finally able to write things down and I have 8 projects to work on over the course of the next 7 days, which means its great that I was finally able to get AGnDesigns.net up and running 100%. Hopefully this will help us to get closer to our goal. At this point, whether the house is still there or not, is irrelevant. Of course to me this would be a sign that it was meant to be, but if not – I’m OK with that because I know that when it does come to the right time, we’ll be 100% financially stable to do it.

After a few days of being home my neighbor, Jake, finally poked his head out. I was told that the reason I hadn’t seen him was due to the fact that he was in the hospital for 9 days and only came home on Monday night (before we got home) so he was resting until he could gain enough strength to come out for a bit to say hello. From that day forward I made it a point to check on him on a daily basis. I spoke to him on Sunday evening to make sure he was doing OK and if the house was warm enough for him (the thermostat for all of the apartments is in our apartment because its baseboard heat that just does the whole top floor. I don’t know why it was setup that way but things happen).  He noted he was fine, just a little sleepy and said he was going back to lay down, did his usual smile and told me that he’d be outside tomorrow since it was supposed to be nice out and he wanted to tell me everything that was going on. At this point I still did not know why he was in the hospital, but figured I’d leave him alone until he was ready to tell me.

So Monday comes around and there’s no sign of him.  His apartment was closed up and I personally didn’t sleep the night before because my stomach was telling me that something is terribly wrong.  About 7am or so I did hear some noise in his apartment, figuring he’d dropped the remote or something I didn’t think anything by it. I went about my day as normal, wondering when he was actually going to come out of the apartment to relax for a bit but that opportunity came and went.  At about 8pm I went outside for a cigarette and saw that his light was not on and instantly started to panic, I had this overwhelming feeling in my stomach telling me that I needed to get into that apartment to check on him. I rang the bell and knocked on the windows – no response. I waited a minute in the chance he was sleeping and tried again. With no answer I ran back into my apartment to get the keys (we have the master set as we’re acting landlords when the store is closed downstairs) and then proceeded to his door with the assistance of my father cause I’m never comfortable with going into someone elses apartment alone.  So we banged on the windows a few more times, rang the bell again and all I heard was a faint groan coming out of the apartment.  We opened the door to find Jake on the floor.  He was breathing, but he was blue.

So we called the police, the ambulance showed up and brought him out of the apartment to the hospital. I noticed while he was on the stretcher that his arm was sitting in a weird direction and instantly knew that he’d had either a stroke or a heart attack.  I went digging around his apartment in search of his phone only to find it in the garbage can with two numbers recently dialed – both of which were to his son.  I don’t know if he’d tried to call for help, or they were just the last numbers he spoke on, but either way I knew that I needed to call his son right away.

The ambulance was here for a while, they were working on him in the back. The second they put the tube down his throat I saw that it just became more severe than originally thought and scrambled to get in touch with his son. I called the house twice, the cellphone like four times. I didn’t get a response until a half hour later.  I went to the hospital to try to get in to see him but they wouldn’t allow me in since they were working on him. His son showed up an hour or so later and we all just sat there feeling helpless until the doctors could come out to see us.  They said that there’s a lot of fluid on his lungs, and around his heart. I learned from his son that the reason he was previously hospitalized was due to congestive heart failure, my stomach knotted up knowing full well that based on all of this I’d probably never see him again.

Over the course of the past week we’ve learned that he was borderline pneumonia when he was released from the previous hospital, and all they did was provide him with a water pill and antibiotic. I then learned about all of the excess fluids that they’re draining from him as his lung was almost collapsed.  After numerous catscans and blood workups they noted that he suffered a major stroke to his left side, they’re unsure if when he comes to if he’ll be paralyzed on that side of his body or not.  We noted to the son, and the doctors, that before the EMT’s showed up he was in and out of consciousness and he was trying to pick himself up off of the floor, so the only reasoning behind him being paralyzed is the reaction to him being a medically induced coma for as long as he has.

As it stands, right now, his condition is stable. They still have him under being as he needs the breathing tube, they’ve also put him on a feeding tube on top of all of the other tubes to keep him somewhat healthy.  Either way I don’t personally think I’m ever going to see him again. I’m not permitted in the ICU to look in on him, and being as I’m not the official form of “Family”, they won’t permit me anywhere near his room.

My father, being a hospital employee and knowing quite a few people, did take one of the nurses aside and just asked if they could give him any information.  The only response is that he’s in really bad shape and will be in the hospital for a very long time.  I haven’t heard from his son in a while either, but I’m taking it as no news is good news for this moment in time.

It’s breaking my heart, honestly. Not only is he a dear friend of mine, I’ve considered him family for quite some time as well.  He’s always included in holidays, I always make sure that he has a plate whenever I cook something big (which, as an Italian, is frequently).  He’s always outside for BBQ’s with us, I’ve always gotten him something for his birthday or Christmas because to me that’s what you do with Family.  It’s upsetting that I can’t get into the hospital just to see him, and equally upsetting to know that I could have checked in on him sooner and maybe the result wouldn’t be so bad.

The hospital ran some tests on him and informed his son that he wasn’t on the ground for very long when he suffered the stroke. If we didn’t check on him until the next morning he unfortunately wouldn’t be with us anymore, but we’re to find some peace with the fact that he wasn’t by himself for very long.  This makes me feel a little better only because I can’t help but think to myself that I could have found him sooner.

We’ve had quite a few people in the apartments up here over the years. I can honestly say that only two have really touched my life. This one is hitting me the hardest though, it’s not like he’s moving out just because he found some place better.  He’s leaving because of medical reasons.  It’s just hard to look at his truck every day and his ashtray on the table next to his seat and not want to break down and cry.  When it comes down to it though, as I haven’t heard from his son I’m treating it as no news is good news (for the time being).  I’m going to continue pushing until I can get some kind of answers.  It’s heart breaking, and very, very hard to deal with but hopefully over the course of time things will work themselves out. I hate the thought of him laying in the bed in a coma, but I guess that’s just what happens to numerous people.  He’s only 66-67 years old, he’s got a lot of time left. I just hope he gets to see it.

Minus all of that, there’s really not a lot going on other than having to keep up with work.  I’ve taken a bit of a break just to clear my head as I haven’t yet been able to type everything out. I’m just hoping to get some kind of news soon. This whole situation is distracting me from productivity and the only way I know how to clear my head is to go full force into things – but I literally do not have the heart to do it right now.

Whew!

Sunday, December 12th, 2010

The last couple of weeks have been a full blown roller coaster of EVERYTHING going on. I haven’t had the time to really sit down and update anything, but I’m now being forced to do it (thanks Karen) so lets get the ball rollin’.

#1 – Sean and I were able to work out everything and are back together. We spent the weekend together, just us with no friends or family around and worked out just about all of our differences. We talked about everything, got a lot off of our chests and now we’re just 100% positive and honest with each other. I can honestly say that for the first time in a few years we’re both happier than we ever could be. Right now he’s down in Jersey getting his stuff from his father’s house. We’ve gone one solid week with no arguments, major disagreements or awkward silence. Things are going to be much, much different this time around and I truly can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

#2 – Work sucks, but what else is new there? A lot of changes have been made recently, tensions are extremely high and as usual the company has found a way to screw you out of actually enjoying a holiday with your family by making both Christmas Eve and New Years Eve a mandatory work day. I still put in for New Years Eve because Sean and I are going away for the weekend, but it’s still bull shit to have to work on Xmas eve when I worked on the freaking fourth of July. Fuck you Cali office, big ‘ol FUCK YOU!

#3 – Christmas is two weeks away and I’ve been feverishly getting everything together so that all shopping has been completed without my having to actually walk into a damn store. Unfortunately, there are just a few things you can’t find online and instances of you having to physically go somewhere to feel them out. I’m done with just about all but 3 people, I will be hitting up the stores for them when I get paid on Friday. My bank account is down to only a few hundred dollars so since bills are paid, everyone else is going to have to wait and unfortunately I’ll have to go out with the weekend before Christmas rush in just about every major store known to man lol. I know it’s going to be slim pickins but what choice do you have?

I say this just about every year but I really need to start getting all of my shopping done in August lol. They start putting the ‘winter’ stuff out in October/November, I think anytime before black Friday would be a good idea for getting all shopping done. All I know is there are going to be quite a few boxes delivered to the house over the course of the next two weeks and I need to make sure I’m staying on top of everything to insure everything ordered was received. Thankfully there are a few people I’ll be seeing after Christmas so there’s no major rush involved with getting their stuff shipped to the house, but I refuse to wrap anything the day after Christmas haha.

I wanted to have dinner at the house this year, I haven’t done it in a while and figure Christmas is the best time to get all of the Soper’s together. Sharon may be going to our cousins for dinner and coming over for dessert, I’ve decided to do it all the next day, which would free up Christmas for me to spend more time with Sean, Dad and Maureen. I do want to get together with Alicia, Dave and the baby for Christmas Eve, figure we’d go to dinner or something, but that’s something that will be worked out over the course of the next few days.

Jaymie Lynn Jaymie Lynn I really do want to spend time with my best friend and god daughter for Christmas, it’s the baby’s first Christmas you can’t NOT want to be there! I was there for the Christmas pictures at Sears, all of the wordrobe changes and the really crappy photographer definitely made it a long afternoon. Thanks to both me and Alicia being as creative as we are, with little help from the photographer we were able to come out with a few cute ones!

So yea, needless to say there’s A LOT going on, and today – while hanging out waiting for my aunt to come home so I can go back to my house, I was actually able to sit down for ten minutes and write up a REAL entry. There’s still stuff that I would actually like to find the time to talk about, but for today? I think we’re good hah.

Happy Holidays!

Interesting Week

Friday, January 29th, 2010

I have to say that minus the fact of my being under the weather – as usual lately – it’s been a really interesting week and luckily I’ve been attentive enough to remember just about everything that’s gone on.

A big congrats goes out to my friend Alicia as she had her first baby, Jaymie Lynn, on Sunday and I have to say that this kid is absolutely adorable. She’s a really cool baby too, I saw her for the first time on Tuesday night and even at two days old she was very alert and responsive to just about everything going on in the room. She knows when you’re talking about her cause her eyebrows raise up a little, and anytime someone curses around her she smiles. I also told her “give daddy the finger” and she just kind of waved at him. In my book, she’s bound to be an awesome kid. I’ll try not to corrupt her too much but isn’t that what aunts are for? Seriously now.

On Monday we had a pretty nasty storm roll through here. Approximately five minutes after I left for work on Monday morning a very strong gust of wind wound up taking the roof off of my patio, now this wasn’t a small roof it was approximately 10ft by 30ft and it’s been attached to the house for god knows how many years. It always rattles and bounces around when we have heavy wind but the wind just happen to have enough force and it was blowing in the right direction for it to completely detach itself from the back of the second story of the house, fly over the main roof and land across the street. Of course I have a few pictures of the aftermath because its a pretty BIG occurance.

Awning Awning

You can tell by the pictures that not only was it a very LARGE awning, it also took four 3 foot cement blocks with it when it lifted off of the porch. There are three blocks still on the porch that were just knocked off of the ledge, which is now a major hazard because there was some structural damage where the blocks were ripped off of, meaning the dog isn’t even allowed outside because I think the pressure from her trying to just look over the ledge would cause it to collapse completely. On the other side of the porch (closest to my apartment) there is a block of cement completely missing where our connection to the roof once was. The interesting thing about it is that it landed right where my car would have been if I’d taken the few extra minutes to warm up the car before heading to work that morning. Even though it was a relatively warm day (for winter at least) the car instantly started up and it didn’t feel sluggish for the first time all season. With this I had the “get in and go” mentality and left as soon as possible. Thank goodness for my doing that because a 100lb 3foot cement block would have come flying through the windsheild… I certainly think that someone was looking over me on Monday – there’s no question about that.

As far as work is concerned, we’ve been pretty slow for the past few days. So much so that I haven’t had to work any major overtime hours like I’d been doing in the past because I’ve been getting out of the office as 6:30 as I’m supposed to. I’m not too sure as to why it’s been so slow but for the sake of being on a decent schedule when it comes to having dinner, relaxing and being able to sleep through the night… I’m certainly NOT complaining!

Working on it…

Monday, April 13th, 2009

I have to say that with the series of events that took place this past weekend, I’m finding it pretty hard to get myself moving today. It’s Monday morning, I know I need to get myself ready for work and I’m just in a “blah” kind of a mood.

On Friday I came home from work with the overwhelming feeling of annoyance towards just about everyone and everything. I attempted to sit down and just relax in bed but when the small bedroom that Sean and I are sharing looks as though a bomb exploded it just escalated into my blowing off steam directly to him. It then, and I don’t know how or why, turned into me having a complete and total emotional breakdown. I did finally have the break down I’ve been anticipating for quite some time now. For the first time in almost two months since Lucy passed away everything hit me and I couldn’t hold back any longer. It was one of those cries that if you looked at me you would have probably felt bad but for me it was just a release of emotions that needed to be released.

I truly do miss Lucy, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and it’s been really hard for me to create a new routine that doesn’t include her because she literally was a huge part of my DAILY life. It’s not like we had that kind of friendship where we only saw each other once in a while, she was at my house all the time, we always talked and she truly was a member of the family. She’s the only one left from years ago that still called me “mom”. It’s like I lost a child, which is probably why I’m taking it so hard. So yea, I broke down, and whether she was there listening or not I made it a point to get out everything that I needed to say. The gist of it was “I miss this, it sucks that this can’t happen, this was the plan for this” the list is never ending. I just know that when I go outside to have a cigarette, I’ve purposely left my phone inside because up until her death I was typically texting her and saying “get your ass over here”. Now I know that I have to do it on my own.

I talk to her all the time, again not knowing if she’s listening or not – it’s more of a comfort thing for me right now… I want to believe that she pops in and out to check up on me or help me through something. It’s just hard to help someone through YOUR death – you know? So yea, that was Friday night.

I woke up on Saturday and found that my tax return was pending deposit on my bank account. This came very soon after Sean went to pick up his new glasses (nerdy tape city man!) and his taxes from paid blogging also went out on Friday, so it was nice to see that the money that went out on Friday was now tripled and put back. I made a killing on my taxes this year, and I’m very happy about that. I was eligible for the stimulus check for last year. Why? I honestly don’t know, but I’m not complaining. I still haven’t received the state but I assume that’s coming in on the 17th as was originally noted. They never told me when the federal was going to show up but Federal tends to work a little quicker when it comes to things like that.

Yesterday, Sean and I got ourselves all dolled up and went over to Alicia’s for Easter. Her mother went overboard on all of the food (again) but that’s what Italian’s do! Everything tasted great, but my stomach absolutely hated me for whatever it was that I ate. I had the ziti and the meat, some ham, and I wanted to go back to the adult table to load up on more food but I was just too full After we ate, Alicia and I headed outside for a quick cig and that’s when my stomach started bothering me. It progressively got worse but didn’t stop me from the cherry cheesecake and a cookie. As far as stomach aches go….I’m thinking it was the Pizzagaine (Italian meat/cheese pie) that set me over the edge. I only really have that once a year, but even still I shouldn’t have felt nauseous for hours after the fact! I wound up having to leave and lay down at home, making Sean drive me even though he’d had a few drinks. I’d rather he drive on two beers that didn’t effect him at all than my being dizzy and unable to see straight.

So I came home, washed all of the make-up off and changed into my pjs. I quickly threw everything off the bed, put a bucket down next to me and then just crashed for the night. Now all of the nausea is gone but the stomach pain is still there, a feeling I absolutely hate, it feels like really high cramps that are hitting me right at the base of my ribs. I just hope the pain doesn’t get worse during the day or I’m going to have to wind up coming home to lay down. :crosses fingers:

On a “tech” note.   I do have a template that I just haven’t been able to sit down and complete the coding on.  It’s time for a change, I never wanted to use a premade template but I was honestly sick of the previous one.  Hopefully I’ll get around to completing it soon.  It’s already coded, per say, there’s just the wordpress tweaks that need to go into it, that’s all.

In any event, it’s a little bit after 8am and it’s time for me to get dressed and get through the rest of my morning routine.  Later gators!

NO! I’M NOT OK!

Monday, March 30th, 2009

I know that I’ve noted in previous entries that it was my goal to post more often.  Unfortunately the series of events that have happened over the past month have given me the lack of a drive to do so.  So while I appreciate an email every now and again asking how things are going, my honest response really is that I’M NOT DOING OK!  Anytime someone asked me something in the past I noted that I was fine…and even though I have never been fine….that’s just not the truth anymore.

I’m still taking Lucy’s death very, very hard.  It’s a lot different than Joe’s passing, but hurtful just the same.  With Joe, I knew he was going to die I just never believed it for my own selfishness.  He was sick for a very long time and it was only a matter of time before it caught up with him.

With Lucy, however, she wasn’t sick at all.  She was a very healthy person, she ate like a fat girl and was stuck in a skinny body but health wise, a random cold like any normal adult would be the only thing to get to her.  So being as she was in such a horrible car accident, the shock of waking up every morning without her being around is really beginning to take its toll on me.  I haven’t yet had my break down, I’ve been very weepy and depressed, but no breakdown in sight.  Typically they happen at the worst possible time and I honestly thought that the drive out to Deer Park was going to be worse for my weepyness but that ended in a few minutes, mainly once we got off of the 107-S.  I cried for a few minutes, a song triggered an old memory of when things were so much easier.  Unfortunately that’s just about all it did…it just triggered memories that I’ve been constantly replaying in my head but have been unable to show any strong emotions with it.  So yea, that’s where I stand with that.  It’s painful, and I just can’t seem to cry enough to the point that I just feel guilty.  I don’t know if my emotions have completely been shut off or what, but you’d think that with EVERYTHING going on right now I’d be able to be more than a zombie.

To add insult to injury – The growth on Bella’s stomach has been removed.  The biopsy results confirm that it was cancer, and now I need to bring her to a specialist to continue treatment.  I’m already putting in 40+ hours a week at work, and this just means that I’m going to have to step up on my design work so I can bring in some more money for the months ahead.  It really sucks that when things just start to get well and Sean and I get ahead on bills that some major thing just blows up in our faces.  He and I have also been having some trouble lately, but we know what’s wrong and we know what needed to be taken out of the situation and now we’re working on it.  I’m still completely and whole-heartedly pissed about it but everyone knows where they stand now.

So essentially, my reason for not having a complete emotional breakdown is due to the fact that I haven’t yet been able to deal with any single thing lately, there’s multiple things on my plate right now and I don’t really know which one to start with.  There’s a lot of changes at work, there’s changes in my love life, there’s changes in my family, and there are people missing who deserve to be here.  I still don’t understand why useless fat assholes are walking the earth refusing to do a damn thing with their lives and the “gods” take someone that was on a set path for greatness.  It confuses the shit out of me and just makes me bitter towards humanity in general.  Everyone wants something for nothing, no one wants to get off their asses and put in an honest days work because there’s always the “easy route”, but people like Lucy who were working and going to school to succeed in life – are just taken away from it.

Pat and I have spoken a bit over the course of the last month and he blew me away the first night at Lucy’s tree (it’s really done up, if you’re on 107-N going into Glen Cove you’ll know EXACTLY where it is), and he went on to tell me how even though he hasn’t physically been around for a while because of his bands schedule and what-not, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t working really hard to give Lucy the life and friendship she deserved.  He wanted her there when the band hits it big because she’s entitled to have friends that take her all over the place and where she gets the perks of celebrity, and everything else they’re working on.  And it really is true…she deserved so much better than she ever go.  All I could do is love and care for her, which is what friends do.  The perks of our friendship was she ate very well and if there was more than a 10 minute period of her not laughing and smiling when she was with me, that just means I had to push that much harder.

She deserved the ultimate happiness in life, not to die.  It’s as simple as that.