Note: Grab a bottle of vodka and count the fucks, cause girlies on a rampage today.

I know I haven’t posted in a while, and frankly I don’t care – I have a life and a job and that’s where my focus is… so, oh fucking well.  Why am I posting now? Because I’m beyond fucking pissed the fuck off.

Bella’s veterinarian has decided that they will not provide me with a written prescription for Bella’s medication. Originally I had one in my hand, but they made it null and void when I requested a refill on her eye drops. It was given to me a few weeks ago, but based on schedules and deadlines I was unable to get it mailed out to 1-800-Pet-Meds to have it filled.  I had to make the choice (which I wasn’t thrilled about) of calling the vet today to request the immediate refill as she ran out last night.  The reason they revoked the prescription? They claim that 800PetMeds is not a ‘compounding pharmacy’ and the eye drops (1% Cyclosporine Ophthalmic Solution – Basically Restasis for dogs) received via 800PetMeds would need to be ‘diluted’ so it’s safer for her to get her drops.  Now, initially I though “OK, that’s a very weird reasoning to refuse affordable medication – lets look into it.” Because that’s exactly what my brain does – I question the fuck out of everything.  So, it was time to get on the phone.  After speaking with a rep from PetMeds they advised that the product I’d be receiving would be identical to the one that is provided via the vets office and the rep on the phone basically said “You’ve been misinformed as you’d be receiving the exact same product they’re overcharging for with no dilution required.  There’s also a good possibility that the prescription your vet is providing is coming from the exact same pharmaceutical company we received ours from.”

I appreciated the new information and now the gears are in overload. I went back to the listing for the medication on pet meds, read through the FAQ and it was confirmed a second time that the drops are in the correct strength LIQUID solution that I need.  So… that really only means one thing to me: It’s time to find a new vet.

I’ve praised this office over the years because of how nice the staff is, and how well of a job they did when I almost lost her a few years ago thanks to the fucking Milo’s Kitchen/DelMonte Foods debacle.  The one thing I was never thrilled about was just how much money I spend every single time I’ve had to go there – no matter what the reason.

Every time I walk into that damn office it costs me an arm and a leg. I’ve been to EMERGENCY vets in New York that didn’t cost me this much every month. I understand that having a special needs dog can take a toll on your bank account, but to be continuously ripped off because the vet would prefer their overprice prescriptions to be handled in house is highway robbery. It’s something I’m no longer going to stand for.

As of right now – I do have a one month supply that I had no choice but to pay for today since they voided the prescription from outside use. So now I’ll be spending the next month trying to figure out where else I can bring her and if some company SOMEWHERE IN THIS WORLD makes a baby-safe version of moisturizing eye drops that can be picked up over the counter.  Based on what I’ve been reading so-far, as an alternative I can get away with utilizing a simple saline solution in her eyes twice a day in replacement of the ‘medicated’ drops.  I know that no aspect of the prescription is doing anything for her at this point in time.  They aren’t going to magically bring back her vision, and considering the amount of gunk I’m cleaning out of them on a daily basis – the crap is clearly not even working anyway because for ‘moisturizing drops’ – her eyes are bone dry and bloodshot.

No one ever said that having a special needs dog was easy. This is something I’ve known for a while, I’m not naive, I’m not stupid. I’m someone whom loves her dog more than her dog (or this world) would ever know.  As a pet-parent, to a senior blind & diabetic pup, I’m watching her slow down more and more each and every single fucking day. She’s miserable when she gets her eyes cleaned out, she’s miserable with the two injections a day, she’s miserable when taking a walk around the block because she can’t freaking see anything and has to fully depend on me to make sure she’s not running into a ditch or about to bump into a curb. Her anxiety levels are through the freaking roof to the point I can’t even pee without her right under my feet, and forget me even going outside for two minutes to dump the trash – in her eye’s I’m leaving for a month long trip and she instantly starts with the temper tantrum because she’s not right on top of me.  She’s got growths all over her, one large one on her chest that’s in the same area as the massive tumor she’s previously had removed.

Minus the two diagnosis actually being medicated – I constantly bring up EVERYTHING ELSE to the doctors every single time she’s in the office and they just brush it off.  Why? I’m in here for HER health, not to worry about whether or not the other 10 dogs in the overcrowded waiting room get their 2 minutes of your time while your nurses do everything else. All I’m asking for is ten minutes of respect and the ability to have someone not only answer my questions, but tell me what’s wrong with my dog when I ask – or at least offer the tests to give me the answers.  If I’m concerned about a growth – run a damn test. If I tell you that the amount of water consumed every day has not gone down – even with the insulin – then run the test for Cushings that I’ve been demanding for the past 6 months.   If I’m constantly telling you about her shaking-in-the-corner-pissing-herself anxiety attacks – give me a pill OR even the recommendation on an over-the-counter sedative that’s safe to give her.  Why is it so difficult?

It’s not like I’m some junkie asking for drugs for me. My anxiety is easily fixed with a cup of coffee and a pack of cigs. If that doesn’t work, time to remodel the house cause mamma’s punching a god damn hole in the wall.  All I’m trying to do is make her last of the time she has left (no matter how long that is) more tolerable for her.  In no way shape or form do I want her to suffer through ANYTHING going on with her right now.  I’m refusing to put her down because she’s not suffering. When she’s ready to go, she’ll tell me.  If you’re even remotely close to your pets you know damn well when its their time (unless an outside source is involved).  Offices like these, who claim they take pride in their work and really care about their animals blow my god damn mind when they really just function completely on the fact that you would do anything for your pets even if it means taking out another mortgage on your house to cover their greed.

Why is it so wrong that someone whose barely keeping their head above water is interested in not only providing proper medical care for their pet but wanting to do it in a way that’s even remotely affordable? At this point I don’t have a single fucking credit card that isn’t completely maxed out because of medical bills or just daily life in general.  Every aspect of being an adult requires money, I’m not bitching over the fact that they also have ‘adulting’ to do in their own lives and they’re working to survive as well.  But being as they aren’t the ones whom actually MIX these solutions and then have the audacity to do a 300% up-charge because of “Supply & Demand” mentality – why do I have to just sit back and take it?

I work for a living too. I’m not some freeloader whose figured out a way to live off the system. I came from a blue collar family and know what doing 100+ hour weeks can do to ones psyche.  I don’t drive a brand new car and I’m living in a house that needs more work than I think I’ll ever be able to afford in my lifetime. I just need to be cut a little slack, and charging me more than double what something actually costs, on top of the $80 “Oh look, you walked through the door” fee is a freaking slap in the face.

So now, even though I’ve been ranting for the last 20 minutes I still need to not only finish a site that’s due this afternoon but locate and contact every single vets office within a 100 mile radius of me just to find out if there’s any possible way in hell of getting her medications for cheaper.  I’m so tempted to call her old vet in NY but I know damn well that a visit would be required and I have absolutely no money to even consider making that happen. I’m at my whits end. I 100% honestly have no idea what to do anymore.