Posts Tagged ‘Inspiration’

Gaining Inspiration…

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

I have to say that moving to a new host is giving me a whole field of inspiration.  I’m going to actively work on a new template this weekend as I really have nothing else to do.  I’m making it a point to setup one that not only allows me to properly integrate advertisors and personal links.  It’ll also give me the ability to get back into paid blogging.  I know that having a hiatus for the last year has kind of thrown me out of the running to bring in the money I was making before, but this doesn’t mean I can’t at least bring in a few hundred dollars a month just to insure that all of my bills are getting paid without having to worry about doing the full 80 pay-week to depend on income.

I’ve had a lot of requests lately for sponsored articles that are done personally through email.  I was also considering taking up an offer for a freelance writing position, but I’ll have to see how much time that would actually consume.  If they want articles written by 2pm on a Wednesday I’ll either have to drag my laptop to work or figure out a way to do it while I’m at work without having to take away from the endless wirlwind of shit going on in this place.  I find myself having loads of inspiration to do things while I’m sitting at work but by the time I get home at night I’m too tired to even look at my laptop.  I think I’ll just bring my notebook in with me so that I can doodle things out and hopefully find the time on the weekends to turn them into something pretty with Photoshop.

In any event, it’s about 11:30 in the morning and emails are really starting to pour in.  I think the insurance companies are trying to accomplish everything so they can leave early on Friday.  Of course this means that there will only be work for US but we have Monday off and my usual Sunday overtime will be spent cleaning things up instead of working on assignments since nothing can really be done until Tuesday anyway.

I’m Lost

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

The past couple of months have really been hard on me.  I’ve found myself having a lot of trouble completing things that I start.  I also have this overwhelming feeling of lonliness even though I’m surrounded by friends and family who care about me and are part of my daily life.

I think my problem is that I still haven’t accepted the fact that Lu is gone.  It’s one of those things that’s haunting me and I just wish I could figure out why.  There are so many unanswered questions and that’s really what’s taking my toll on me.  I want to know what happened that night, and I know exactly who to ask because I’m confident that they had everything to do with it but I’ve kept to myself because I just don’t want to interrupt everyone else’s ability to move on.

Work is also taking it’s toll on me.  I’m tired, fidgety and smoking about a pack and half a day just to cope with everything going on, on top of the stress.  I want to have the time to sit down and do something for ME but I keep agreeing to everything else for everyone else and even blogging right now just seems out of place for me considering I’m doing it from work (which I would probably get in trouble for) but there’s absolutely nothing to do right now.  I don’t think we’ve ever been this DEAD at 6:30 before.  It was a relatively slow day, which I guess was a good thing but at the same time it’s kind of annoying when you know you’re being paid hourly to basically sit on your ass with nothing to do.

That’s probably why I’m having such a hard time lately.  While I really have no time to myself, the line of work I’m in gives me a lot of time to be quiet and THINK during the day.  To spend 9 hours a day THINKING it really begins to take it’s toll on you.

I’m rambling, I don’t even have a complete thought for an entry right now…there literally was just nothing else to do.  I just know that I’ve sat here all day wondering how I can change things on this site.  I’m sick of the premade template, and I do have some ideas floating around in my head for a new theme but I honestly don’t know when that’s going to actually turn into a physical project.  Maybe I’ll have some time this weekend.  I was thinking of doing something tonight considering Sean is watching the season finale of LOST but I was thinking of just making some Mac & Cheese and curling up outside until it was time to go to bed.  The only thing I really look forward to is FRESH AIR.  I work in a place that’s overloaded with windows, but none of them can open so there’s all kinds of ’stuffy’ going on!

In any event, there’s 20 minutes before I get to leave…maybe I’ll find something to do.

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