Posts Tagged ‘Life’

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Almost there!

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

I have to say that it’s been a pretty productive week for me. I’m surprised at how much has been accomplished and how absolutely nothing has gone wrong. As you know, on Sunday I got all of the FAFSA stuff taken care of and on Monday I submitted a request to speak with a representative at Phoenix. By Tuesday evening I was on the phone with Dan S., and I have to say he’s answered every single one of my questions and addressed every single one of my concerns. As of right now I’m about 78% complete with my application. There’s the matter of asking a few questions in regard to previous schools and finances that I need to get in touch with my representative about but for the most part everything should be squared away by Monday afternoon. Since I’m unable to get in touch with him during the day I’ve had to stay in contact with him through Email as I can not access any Educational websites through the servers at work (stupid blocks on just about EVERYTHING!). Either way it will all work out for the best and that’s all I care about right now.

So school is pretty much squared away, Sean is doing well with multiple clients right now and I’ve managed to complete all make-up time on the two days that I missed last week and right now I’m only 2 hours short of doing that and I know I’ll breeze through that by the time I punch out on Sunday. I know Sunday is going to be pretty busy because I’m going to go back for a few weeks through archived emails and make sure everything was handled and with the new system we use at work it’s really more of an “easier said than done” kind of thing considering it takes an average of 30+ seconds to search for a file in the system and I know there’s about 2000 or so claims to go through. This should certainly be interesting.

Tonight I’m hopefully getting out of here at a reasonable hour so I can get some light packing done. I’m going to be staying at my aunts tonight and then tomorrow it is my ultimate goal to clear out my bedroom and give it the deep-down clean that it’s needed for a few weeks now. I can only deal with the chaos for so much longer and considering I received my course breakdown last night I’m going to need to do a major overhaul on the room so I have an area where I can fully concentrate on everything.

I’m working on getting myself a smaller laptop to use temporarily so I can get a decent amount of homework done while I’m on my 1-hour break at work. I refuse to pick up a netbook because I’m sure that with some of my courses I’m going to have to load something off of a disk and as far as the design aspect of things are concerned I’m still going to use the Mac that I have at home so I’ve been poking around TigerDirect for a small laptop but the prices really aren’t that great. I will consider looking into one at Microcenter only because the bulk of them are on sale right now AND I have about $125 worth of gift certificates that can be used towards it and with the sales, rebates, coupons and gift certificates – I think I can get a half-way decent one that one cost me very much money at all.

:: crosses fingers ::

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Happy New Year!

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Ok, so I’m 13 days late in wishing everyone a Happy New Year but that’s also based on the fact that I really don’t get to spend much time in front of the computer for personal things anymore. I just pulled my laptop out of the closet today because I had to take two days off from work and I decided to help out the girls considering my department gets pretty backed up during the day, it’s even worse when we’re down a person so I logged in and assigned some claims so everyone could at least get out of there close to on-time. Oddly enough it worked out pretty well. If we could only figure out a way to do it when all three of us our there it would be a pretty cool deal hah.

So yea, this year hasn’t really gone too well but I’ve pretty much been under the weather since it started so of course I can’t say that there’s anything interesting going on. I’m waiting very patiently for my paycheck on Friday so I can punch all of the numbers into the FAFSA website and hopefully get a decent amount of coverage so I can get myself back into school. The University of Phoenix is pretty expensive so I really have to figure out how to get myself fully covered so I can complete a Bachelors degree. If I really wanted to stretch a penny I’d figure out a way to get my Masters but for now the Bachelors will suffice. I know I’ve been talking about going back to school for a very long time but I’m finally able to do it without having to worry about being under my fathers income. Essentially.. waiting until you’re 25 is a good thing when it comes to trying to get as much help as you can. It also mentally prepaired me to learn how to buckle down and get myself organized.

I’m working some pretty long hours lately, it’s not working out too well for me (mental health wise) but at least the overtime is paying the bills. It sucks that I’m averaging over 20 hours of overtime each paycheck but I’m also working six days a week and typically doing 10-11 hour days from Mon-Fri, that’s more than enough to say “I no longer have a social life”. Granted, my social life kind of died off when Lucy passed away last year but I’ve been making up for it by surrounding myself with people who are actually worth an ounce of my time and writing off the ones who aren’t. It may sound cruel but it’s just the way life goes. I know what I need and what I don’t need and having enough strength within myself to cut any ties with the people who just weren’t really worth it to begin with is more than enough of a reason for me to do what I need to do to get by. I’m lucky enough to be graced with the good people instead of the bad and that certainly works for me!

Sean and I are doing OK – yes, we’re still together. We had a bit of a rocky-point last year but I want to assume that everyone was smacked in the face with their mistakes. In July it’ll be four years, and while I know that’s still six months away, it’s still a shock that I’ve been able to stay with the same person for as long as I have. With him it’s really not an issue though. We get along, we’re living in a semi-tight bedroom but we manage to make due. Financial matters have kept us from getting a bigger place but for the time being we’re content with what we have. It gets a little stuffy when you throw Bella into the mix (who’s also doing very well now that the Tumor has been removed from her stomach) but we make due and that’s all that matters.

I’ve been home for the past two days and the only thing I’ve managed to accomplish is the laundry. I know I’m sick and should really just be resting but I hate just laying down and doing nothing, I need to do SOMETHING productive or I wind up going crazy. It was my ultimate goal to just clean up the bedroom today and that just didn’t happen. Maybe when I’m done here I’ll just get up for the sake of organizing a few things to make me feel better about the mess in here. I desperately need to organize my closet, it’s a terrible mess right now. Instead of hanging things up I tend to just fold them and stack them. I’ve had to keep shifting the stack around so I can get to the clothes that I’m wearing that day. It’s been pretty annoying.

As far as “resolutions” are concerned, it’s my ultimate goal to get myself back into school and finish what I’ve started. It’s also my goal within the next six months to come up with enough money for the down payment on the 2010 Chevrolet Equinox because that has been my final choice in a new car and the one I know I’ll stick with. I bounced around for a little while but after reading the reviews, doing the research and really just learning everything I can about the Equinox, the 2010 is the most well designed and fuel efficient model that they have. The older models had a lot of design flaws, one of which I saw as a safety issue and the gas mileage just wasn’t worth the price tag. Everything that’s offered with them now is everything I could ever need and I know that I’ll have it for at least 10-15 years so it’ll certainly hold up well for me.

So yea, School, Car, find a better job that pays at least double what I’m making and it’ll wind up being a good year for me. I just need to keep myself on track.

:: crosses fingers ::

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Rollin’ along…

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

It’s only Wednesday and I’m itching for it to be Friday.  I can’t wait until my paycheck comes in so I can get some bills paid and enjoy a little bit of self-pampering.  I’m going to pick out a new uber-cool nail polish and head down to the salon to get my eyebrows done, I’ve let them go for three weeks and even though I’ve been maintaining them myself I’d really like to get them touched up.  I’m also going to dye my hair because the gray roots are getting way too freaking long and it’s about time I do something about that.

I’ve already noted on acidgloss.net that I’d like to start doing a little more with my sites and I know I’ve been saying it here for a while but with the way things are going lately I think I’d be able to properly budget my time for a little while so I can actually get something done.  Lately I’ve been putting in a lot of overtime at work and being as it’s approved for my department it’s not such a major deal anymore.  I’m now doing the Saturday afternoon shift completely by myself. Originally I was alternating with another co-worker but she doesn’t really like coming in on the weekends and noted that she’s not hurting for money as badly as I am right now.  Sean is bringing in really good money with a few clients he’s working with but I’m pretty much stuck within the same price-range every two weeks.  It’s paying the bills, and that’s all that matters right now.

Over the course of the next few months we’re really going to be skimping and saving just about everywhere we can.  We both have agreed that it’s time to move on with our lives and we need to get ourselves into a larger apartment and I really need to have my own car. I set my car budget around $12,000 and that’ll be more than enough to get me a 2007 or 2008 Chevy Cobalt that includes everything that I need in a car at this point in my life… power windows and decent gas mileage to get to and from work.  I’m going with a sedan as it will give me a little less to worry about on my car insurance and I’ll have an alarm system to give me even more of a break.  There’s also a defensive driving course that I could take to drop things down as well.  I’ll take as many deductions as I can at this point of my life.  I’m hoping to put about $5,000 to $6,000 aside for a down payment so I’m not stuck with a loan for an extended period of time.  It would help me out in the long run considering I’m still paying back my personal loan and all of the credit cards that I’ve managed to max out over the last year.

I’ve been at my current job for over a year and if you didn’t notice it’s put a major damper on just about everything INTERNET related for me.  I hardly check my email, and really had no interest in blogging for a very long time.  I was dealing with getting used to a 10-7 and that took up just about all of my energy.  Now that I’m in a fixed routine with all of that I’m learning to deal with everything else going on in my life.

My best friend passed away in February and that’s really been kicking my ass for the past few months because it was the last thing I’d ever expect.  Sean and I were rocky for a little while but now we’re back on course.  Bella went through surgery to have the tumor removed from her stomach and a few other things have sprung up over the rest of the year that have had my attention – mainly health related issues with both family members and myself.  It’ll all work itself out in the end so I’m not going to get that far into detail about it.

In any event… it’s after 10pm which means it’s past my bed time.  I don’t ever actually fall asleep until after 11:30 anyway… but I do try to be in bed so I can get some decent amount of sleep.  I’m working on about 5-6 hours a night and I’d really like to sleep for a full 8 hours once in a while.  There’s always the weekends I guess… that’s typically when I make up the time.  I make up for it more on Sunday than I do on Saturday considering I have to work but either way things are getting done and that’s all that matters.

So yea… I’m still working at the same job… I’m still dealing with my own gripes and issues with life.  I’m also hoping to get some time to myself so I can actually start doing something with the sites that I own… it’d be great.

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Nothings up…

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

OK… so it’s been a really long time since I’ve been able to sit down and actually act as though I own this website.  There’s no content updates, there’s no real major changes going on in my life that are worth posting about and everything as of right now is pretty mellow.  I’m still living in NY, I’m still working at the same appraisal company and we’re still bouncing between two different systems.  I have no real drive for anything internet related, hardly check my email half the time now that I think about it.  I would like to get back into the blogging world for the random days of venting but when you’re working 10 hours a day you tend to not want to focus on any of that by the time you get home. 

Sean’s working for a few different people right now, and making some decent money.  We’re working on getting another car and getting numerous bills paid off.  I’m also hoping to get down to Atlantic City before the year ends so that’ll certainly be a nice change of scenery for me.  We were down in Jersey last weekend cause his mother was going in for surgery and as far as everything outside of the hospital is concerned … it was a shitty freaking weekend.  I’m really not a big fan of NJ… that’s just about how I’m going to put that summary together heh.

I’m hoping to be able to get something accomplished here considering it’s been well over a year since I’ve really done anything.  Hopefully that’ll change but we’ll see what happens.

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Yea….ok

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

So I know I said that I had every intent to update more, but as you know – reality tends to take over internet.  I’ve been floating around some blogs – some new, some old – and it’s shown me that the internet really just hasn’t changed.  I’m to a point now where I’m just questioning as to whether or not I really want to be involved anymore.  Working on a Bachelors in Multimedia is starting to seem like a waste of time considering I don’t have the drive to do it.  I don’t even have to drive to finish a template I started on over a month ago for this domain – why even try?  It’s not like I’ll ever get back to where I once was, and that was my own stupidity with all of the paid content and not enough real-life content.  On top of that…when it was non-sponsored content it was basically drama because there are people in this world who were just never meant to get along.

Since then…I’ve grown and stepped away from that.  It’s not my fault that some people are still holding onto bull shit but when they’re stuck in their little houses all day long with nothing better to do – it seems – it’s hard for them to let go of it to.  So basically – leave the house, enjoy the fresh air, summer’s right around the corner and a few of you could seriously use a tan, don’t burn though – that would suck.

On real notes – Work is taking it’s toll on me, I’m to a point of extreme exhaustion and I could seriously use a day off.  Unfortunately I don’t have enough PTO (paid time off) to even consider a vacation without screwing up my finances right now.  So while I’m at work all day, Sean’s at home trying to pick up as many clients as possible and right now they’re coming out the wazoo ever since he applied (and was accepted) to NYIT.  It’s going to cost A LOT of money for him to get his Bachelors in Computer Programming so he’s doing everything he can to bring in as much money as he can.  If he gets lucky and can load up on scholarships and loans, plus work study, he should be able to swing it.  It’s just going to be rough for a little while because I believe his everyday work will suffer and I feel like I’m going to be the one picking up the slack.  My monthly income is limited and being as I have no drive for design the only option is sponsored posting so I can bring in the extra $1,000 a month we need to live.

We’re trying very hard to save up money so we can finally get into our own place.  Unfortunately bills just keep showing up around us that we have no control over.  I was just hit with some BS penalty from HSBC for my loan because they claim that I’ve made late payments and it’s a $150 fee.  I’ve paid my loan between the 11th and 15th since the day I got it (about 2 years ago) so I really don’t understand why there’s an issue now and of course everytime I call I wind up having to talk to someone in India.  I went into the bank and was told that being as it’s a different department I should just call the customer service line.  Either way I’m sitting here about to rip my hair out because they’re shooting this shit to me and I honestly don’t even feel as though it’s legit.  So money is tight, tensions are high, it’s just been a crappy freaking year.

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Unreal…

Monday, May 18th, 2009

The past few days have been absolutely annoying. There was a huge issue with my database being deleted. I wound up having to pay for it because supposedly it’s OK for hosts to charge you to restore a back-up even though you weren’t the one to have anything to do with it crashing in the first place. So someone finally realized it wasn’t my fault so thankfully I was refunded for it. I was up until 3:30 in the morning on Saturday trying to get that one fixed.

Sunday – I was supposed to go into work with Fran because there’s A LOT of cleaning to get done but since I was exhausted from the night before and Fran wasn’t feeling well because her back was acting up we both decided it would be best to just stay home and relax for the day. Unfortunately you can never relax around here, there’s some kind of a daemon walking around and he’s taking out just about everyone he can.

Last week, a few people passed away. Now, thankfully I didn’t personally know them but other people surrounding me were connected to them (six levels of separation..). A kid that went to school with my boss overdosed. A man was hit by a car and thrown a good 50 feet onto the grass of one of the churches in town and the ass hole who hit him decided to just keep driving. How can you hit someone with that kind of force and just take off?

Sunday (yesterday) as I was sitting down to begin working on the new template for krissy.nu we had a power surge and I lost everything. About a half hour to an hour later that one mini power surge then turned into absolutely no lights at all. I get a phone call from Alicia because she’s currently on her way to some huge accident in Locust Valley. Someone going east-bound wound up crossing over the west-bound side of the road and splitting a light pole completely in half, they were then air lifted for medical attention and this entire section of town (it was about 6 blocks up from me) was completely out of power for a few hours. Sean and I wound up heading down in that direction before we went grocery shopping. I’ve never seen a pole look like that before, and I hope to never see it again.

So I get my shopping done – excellent deals going on this week if you’re a Pathmark shopper btw – I come home and make dinner, I take a shower, and try to relax for the rest of the night. I get a text message from my boss asking if I could come in at 9am instead of 930 and then with my response to her I got nervous because I hadn’t heard from her in a while then I come to find out that in this major accident up the road there was a silver altima involved (which she drives). Thankfully, she wound up calling me a little while later, explained the delay and then instantly 200 pounds was lifted off of my chest.

With the way things are going lately… I know things come in threes but there are way too many triplets to deal with right now. There is a major evil entity walking around the Gold Coast and I truly do not like it.

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I’m Lost

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

The past couple of months have really been hard on me.  I’ve found myself having a lot of trouble completing things that I start.  I also have this overwhelming feeling of lonliness even though I’m surrounded by friends and family who care about me and are part of my daily life.

I think my problem is that I still haven’t accepted the fact that Lu is gone.  It’s one of those things that’s haunting me and I just wish I could figure out why.  There are so many unanswered questions and that’s really what’s taking my toll on me.  I want to know what happened that night, and I know exactly who to ask because I’m confident that they had everything to do with it but I’ve kept to myself because I just don’t want to interrupt everyone else’s ability to move on.

Work is also taking it’s toll on me.  I’m tired, fidgety and smoking about a pack and half a day just to cope with everything going on, on top of the stress.  I want to have the time to sit down and do something for ME but I keep agreeing to everything else for everyone else and even blogging right now just seems out of place for me considering I’m doing it from work (which I would probably get in trouble for) but there’s absolutely nothing to do right now.  I don’t think we’ve ever been this DEAD at 6:30 before.  It was a relatively slow day, which I guess was a good thing but at the same time it’s kind of annoying when you know you’re being paid hourly to basically sit on your ass with nothing to do.

That’s probably why I’m having such a hard time lately.  While I really have no time to myself, the line of work I’m in gives me a lot of time to be quiet and THINK during the day.  To spend 9 hours a day THINKING it really begins to take it’s toll on you.

I’m rambling, I don’t even have a complete thought for an entry right now…there literally was just nothing else to do.  I just know that I’ve sat here all day wondering how I can change things on this site.  I’m sick of the premade template, and I do have some ideas floating around in my head for a new theme but I honestly don’t know when that’s going to actually turn into a physical project.  Maybe I’ll have some time this weekend.  I was thinking of doing something tonight considering Sean is watching the season finale of LOST but I was thinking of just making some Mac & Cheese and curling up outside until it was time to go to bed.  The only thing I really look forward to is FRESH AIR.  I work in a place that’s overloaded with windows, but none of them can open so there’s all kinds of ’stuffy’ going on!

In any event, there’s 20 minutes before I get to leave…maybe I’ll find something to do.

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Not a good day….

Monday, April 27th, 2009

I haven’t even really started my Monday but I know for a fact that it’s just not going to be a good day in general.  Last week while I was organizing things I found Joe’s mass card.  To my surprise I was completely thrown off by what I was reading.  For a long time I was convinced that his birthday was the end of May.  Leave it to me to screw up the dates….

I found out that his birthday actually fell on April 27th.  The reason I’m in a funk right now is because Lucy also has the same birthday.

Joe – April 27, 1981 -> March 7, 2006
Lu – April 27, 1985 -> February 17th, 2009

There’s too many 7’s involved, and things are just too damn close together for me to be even remotely comfortable about it, it’s one of those freaky things that just kind of hit you very hard when you make the discovery that you certainly were NOT expecting.  I was just happy that I was finally able to find Joe’s mass card so I could put it on my mirror, the way I’d had it before it was boxed away and shipped down to DE with me.  I was just taken back when I actually put two and two together.

So, I already know for a fact that it’s going to be just a really bad day for me.  I’ve put those whom I actually give a crap about on warning to just not bother me today…with anything.  To those whom don’t already know…they can deal with  my being a bitch and I couldn’t give a shit about their feelings.

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NO! I’M NOT OK!

Monday, March 30th, 2009

I know that I’ve noted in previous entries that it was my goal to post more often.  Unfortunately the series of events that have happened over the past month have given me the lack of a drive to do so.  So while I appreciate an email every now and again asking how things are going, my honest response really is that I’M NOT DOING OK!  Anytime someone asked me something in the past I noted that I was fine…and even though I have never been fine….that’s just not the truth anymore.

I’m still taking Lucy’s death very, very hard.  It’s a lot different than Joe’s passing, but hurtful just the same.  With Joe, I knew he was going to die I just never believed it for my own selfishness.  He was sick for a very long time and it was only a matter of time before it caught up with him.

With Lucy, however, she wasn’t sick at all.  She was a very healthy person, she ate like a fat girl and was stuck in a skinny body but health wise, a random cold like any normal adult would be the only thing to get to her.  So being as she was in such a horrible car accident, the shock of waking up every morning without her being around is really beginning to take its toll on me.  I haven’t yet had my break down, I’ve been very weepy and depressed, but no breakdown in sight.  Typically they happen at the worst possible time and I honestly thought that the drive out to Deer Park was going to be worse for my weepyness but that ended in a few minutes, mainly once we got off of the 107-S.  I cried for a few minutes, a song triggered an old memory of when things were so much easier.  Unfortunately that’s just about all it did…it just triggered memories that I’ve been constantly replaying in my head but have been unable to show any strong emotions with it.  So yea, that’s where I stand with that.  It’s painful, and I just can’t seem to cry enough to the point that I just feel guilty.  I don’t know if my emotions have completely been shut off or what, but you’d think that with EVERYTHING going on right now I’d be able to be more than a zombie.

To add insult to injury – The growth on Bella’s stomach has been removed.  The biopsy results confirm that it was cancer, and now I need to bring her to a specialist to continue treatment.  I’m already putting in 40+ hours a week at work, and this just means that I’m going to have to step up on my design work so I can bring in some more money for the months ahead.  It really sucks that when things just start to get well and Sean and I get ahead on bills that some major thing just blows up in our faces.  He and I have also been having some trouble lately, but we know what’s wrong and we know what needed to be taken out of the situation and now we’re working on it.  I’m still completely and whole-heartedly pissed about it but everyone knows where they stand now.

So essentially, my reason for not having a complete emotional breakdown is due to the fact that I haven’t yet been able to deal with any single thing lately, there’s multiple things on my plate right now and I don’t really know which one to start with.  There’s a lot of changes at work, there’s changes in my love life, there’s changes in my family, and there are people missing who deserve to be here.  I still don’t understand why useless fat assholes are walking the earth refusing to do a damn thing with their lives and the “gods” take someone that was on a set path for greatness.  It confuses the shit out of me and just makes me bitter towards humanity in general.  Everyone wants something for nothing, no one wants to get off their asses and put in an honest days work because there’s always the “easy route”, but people like Lucy who were working and going to school to succeed in life – are just taken away from it.

Pat and I have spoken a bit over the course of the last month and he blew me away the first night at Lucy’s tree (it’s really done up, if you’re on 107-N going into Glen Cove you’ll know EXACTLY where it is), and he went on to tell me how even though he hasn’t physically been around for a while because of his bands schedule and what-not, that doesn’t mean he wasn’t working really hard to give Lucy the life and friendship she deserved.  He wanted her there when the band hits it big because she’s entitled to have friends that take her all over the place and where she gets the perks of celebrity, and everything else they’re working on.  And it really is true…she deserved so much better than she ever go.  All I could do is love and care for her, which is what friends do.  The perks of our friendship was she ate very well and if there was more than a 10 minute period of her not laughing and smiling when she was with me, that just means I had to push that much harder.

She deserved the ultimate happiness in life, not to die.  It’s as simple as that.

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Close to losing it…

Wednesday, February 11th, 2009

I’m to a point in my life where nothing really matters.  I’m sick of how my life is going but I’m in the “Just Do It” state of mind because there are more important factors involved.  I hate my job but I do it because I have bills to pay and a dog to take care of.  I hate my living situation but I deal with it because I know that at some point in time it’s going to improve and I’ll be able to afford to just finally be out on my own and not have to worry about anything but making sure I can clear the Rent that month.

I don’t like the fact that just about everyone I know is off doing their own thing so I never get to see them anymore and I hate that there are people in my past that my mind can not stop thinking about even though I let go of them a few years ago.  Ever since I moved back up here I’ve felt as though my past is catching up to me and I just can’t seem to drop it.  It’s as though any unfinished business from 10+ years ago is on the verge of busting out unless I do something about it.

I had a dear friend in high school that one day just kind of walked away – for no real reason.  And based on how close we were it’s always confused me as to how the Jock Strap way of life was more important than someone who truly cared about you and visa-versa.  I never quite understood it, and it’s really beginning to bug me because there are so many markers in my life that trigger thoughts of this person and I just can not seem to get them out of my head.

I work with a guy who I went to school with and the two of them were friends.  He recently saw him and brought my name up and this guy was like “Oh yea, I haven’t seen her in years I should get in touch with her!”  The thing that bothers me about him saying that is the fact that he was so quick to walk away and now he’s interested in reconnecting.  Maybe I’m just looking into things too deeply but it bothers me to no end and I really don’t understand why.  How could you completely disregard someone’s existance even though you saw them every single day and then 6 years later feel as though it would be a fantastic idea to just pick up where things were left?  Would you not expect there to be a lot of questions involved in that? Mainly – “What could I have possibly done in the first place?”  Either way I’m going to make every effort in the world to avoid the situation.  It just baffles me to no end.

Considering I’m working a 10 hour shift tomarrow I think it’s time to head to bed.  I need to finish catching up on some text messages first.  I’m way behind on those – heh.  Thank god for a QWERTY keyboard and unlimited in network messaging haha.

Side Note – I received an email tonight that was really kind of strange.  But just to be a brat I’m going to answer it here.  FYI – Sean and I are still together, we live together, I just don’t update my website often enough to talk about him and he’s too busy working for 4 different people to really have the time to throw his personal life online as well.  So instead of coming to the conclusion that we broke up please ask before you make assumptions.  Kthnx.

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Still Kicking

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

I know I haven’t been around in a while, but knowing how the internet works I’m sure no one really gives a shit anyway.  Work is taking it’s toll on me so I don’t even have the time to check my email anymore.  I’m home early enough with nothing to do so I can finally sit down and at least update to let you (those who do actually care) know that I’m alive, I’m just too damn busy.

I have no drive for just about anything anymore, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing ’cause I’m out of the house all day and making some pretty decent money.  I’m enrolling in school with the next pay check so I really won’t be around to do much of anything when that happens.  I’m finally getting my Bachelors so I can find a job that pays a bit more in a field that I used to, at one point, enjoy very much.

I’m permanently living in New York, Sean and I are working hard at getting our own place so we’re no longer a burden on anyone, even though we pay our own way around here and for others as well.  Hopefully with a degree under my belt and all of the work that Sean’s been doing lately we’ll be able to get something nice and cozy just for us and Bella (of course).

On the animal front – Bella’s been doing OK but she’s got this horrible growth on her stomach that’s cause for concern.  It’s gotten much larger as we’ve been up here and right now it looks as though there’s a ball (a little larger than a golf ball) stuck under her skin on her stomach and it’s just kind of hanging there.  I’m pulling money together so I can have it removed.  It’s uncomfortable for her, and everyone can see that.  She isn’t as active as she once was and her appetite has gone out the window.  She can’t sit or lay down properly because it gets in the way so it’s certainly time to get rid of it completely.  I originally wanted to get it taken care of a few months ago but bills are very tight and it’s just not something that I can afford since the VET isn’t willing to work out any kind of payment arrangements.

Dad’s doing well, no sign of cancer thanks to his treatments.  My mother, on the other hand, it’s been pretty much up and down for her for the past few months.  She’s been pretty weak, and it’s been hard for her to get around so my sister’s over there a lot helping her out.  I would be if I wasn’t always at the office.

I don’t think I ever mentioned anything about this job since I started there – it’s been about five months since my start date.  I love the environment, can’t stand a few people, and have bumped heads a few times but that’s my personality.  I’m working with two absolutely wonderful ladies and I’ve spent a lot of time with one of them outside of work because she’s one of the coolest people in the world.

In any event, my 10 minutes online has certainly stretched a bit further than I would have liked it to.  I would like to update more often but I don’t have the ability to do it at work during any downtime and by the time I get home at night the only thing I’m looking to do is keep my head on a pillow until the following morning.  I have been able to check my email more often though so anyone still floating around feel free to drop a line (krissyville @ gmail.com)  let me know your new web addresses too – I haven’t kept my list updated in quite some time.  You can even comment with it, I have them all on moderate anyway.

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Uneventful

Saturday, July 5th, 2008

This is one of those days where the truly isn’t anything going on.  I spent my fourth in house with my dog and a sleeping boyfriend.  He hasn’t been feeling very well so we decided it would be best to stay in.  The original plans were rained out anyway so it wasn’t a total loss.  I caught up on a few things, messed around in Photoshop for a few projects and now it’s knocking on 5AM but I’m not even close to being tired yet.  I know Bella’s exhausted, I can hear her snoring from here.  Considering she’s at the other end of the apartment, it’s safe to say she enjoyed her toys all day to the point that her compact little self basically just went ahead and crashed.

My father is pulling a double shift, he should be home in about 2 hours from now.  He left at 3PM this afternoon and since 7AM is rolling in – I’m sure he’ll be exhausted.  I’m tempted to just stay up for the whole day and then crash later on in the evening but I know that’s not actually going to work out.  I have to pull some stuff out of the dryer and get the beds setup so I can go to sleep.  Sean was so tired he’s sleeping on a bare mattress.  I personally can’t handle that but I’m sleeping on the floor tonight anyway so I’ll be able to get the sheet back on the aero-bed with no problems.  We alternate between the bed and the floor, it’s the only way to save our backs.  Mine isn’t doing very well at all – the lack of proper seating is taking it’s toll on me.  While I absolutely love being “home” I have to say that finding a chair that you don’t just sink into would be much better for me.  Big comfy furniture is great, but not when you have chronic back-problems, you know?

My old bed (twin) is rather comfortable, which I’ve proven for the last couple days of over sleeping.  The aero-bed, I just can’t seem to get the proper pressure set to it so no matter what I do I tend to be uncomfortable.  It’s my luck that I’ll have finally figured it out the last night that we’re here so that’s going to be annoying but I am looking forward to falling into my big comfy king bed when we get back to Delaware.

If all goes well we do hope to be moving up to New York within the next 6 months or so.  That heavily depends on a few job applications I sent in up here, as well as quite a few freelance jobs that I’ve quoted.  We know that in order to come up here we’re going to need to earn about $4,000 a month in total.  So finding a position that will bring me at least $2,000 a month shouldn’t be so hard.  I just need to get myself into an office where I’m making $15-$20 an hour.

I applied for a job on the Island that I found on some job-search site (not sure which one – considering there are like 10 of them that I surf through regularly).  I sent in my resume and hopefully I’ll hear something, starting salary is $75,000/yr.  I think that will easily bring in the $13,000 a year I’d need to find a decent apartment up here.  I’m thinking of looking into my grandmothers building (only because I know everything so well) but I may see what I can find at the Avalon – I really like their rules, even though no one else seems to.

I’m the kind of person who can’t stand chaos, and this is coming from someone whom has a rather large extended family.  But at the same time, if I’m going to be spending about $2,000 a month on rent I want to know that I’m going to be able to enjoy the experience.  The Avalon has a series of rules that would drive a few people crazy but the big ones for me really make it worth spending that kind of money.

1 – Children are to be seen and not heard.
2 – Pets are to be seen and not heard.
3 – No loud parties.
4 – Guests are to be cleared with the main desk.

All that says to me is silence, and no crazy wacko’s walking around the building at all hours of the night.  Private off-street parking which makes me feel safe considering the area that most of the Avalon’s are located on the Island aren’t the best.  Private pool and massive work-out rooms so I’ll be able to keep on track with my diet.  The in-house washer/dryer helps me a lot too, apartments can also come furnished if requested so why wouldn’t I do it?

It’s a lot to think about, either way I’ll have to wait and see what happens.  I’ll tell you now that if they hire me I’m going to take the weekend to head back down to Delaware and pack my stuff to come back up here – I’ll stay with my father for a little while until I can find an apartment of my own and once that happens Sean will come up and the rest is history.

It would be nice, it would be flat out fantastic but money talks … unfortunately.

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Life in a nut-shell.

Friday, March 7th, 2008

I know I’m late again but I finally got around to getting the March template up and running. I have no idea how it looks on the Mac because I haven’t made much of an effort to go into the office lately. I have my laptop and I’m enjoying flipping through 400+ channels and finding absolutely nothing to watch.

I got everything taken care of at the DMV on Monday and now all I need is to find a decent job to bring in enough money for my own car. Sean’s is great and all but it’s got over 120,000 miles on it so it’s only a matter of time before we’re looking to get rid of it. It’s a 1995, naturally there’s only a limited amount of time left with it. I narrowed my options though, I know I’m not willing to spend anything more than $12,000 and while even that seems like a lot, I also know I’m not coming home with something brand new. I found a few dealerships in the area that have the car I want and while the ’05 Chevy Cobalt that I’ve been looking into has about 50,000 miles on it already, it’s also still under warrenty for another 40,000 miles and since I am working locally, I’m not too concerned about that.

I started and quit a job on Tuesday, it just wasn’t the place for me and I have other things going on right now that I don’t wish to go into. I put in some applications in other stores and I’m hoping to hear from one of them sometime within the next few days.

We’re going to have company this weekend, Karen’s sister is coming down to continue house-hunting so I spent the bulk of the day straightening up the house. I finally got around to giving the bathroom the “deep clean” it’s needed for the last two weeks. It’s easy to wipe down the counter and throw some bleach on the floor but I’m the kind of person who likes to get down and scrub the shit out of things. When you can eat off the bathroom floor, you know there’s no cross-contamination and excess bacteria floating around. I also do the same scrubbing in the kitchen on a daily basis. Even if I don’t cook and a drop of soda happens to be on the counter, I go into over-drive and take care of things.

My sleep schedule is back on track. I typically crash around midnight and I’m up around 9am. It’s a good feeling to see more than a few hours of sunlight during the day considering my hours were more like 9am to 2pm and since the sun (for a few weeks) started to set around 5pm things were really kind of sluggish for me. Now I’m up and ready to take on the day after a good nights rest. Bella still isn’t quite used to the change, but no matter what time schedule I was on she typically slept for most of the day anyway.

On the topic of pets, I got her groomed last week and she was a little – clingy – for a couple of days. She seems to be getting back to normal but I’ve noticed that since the mood kind of lightened (a few days after we put Candy down) she’s really taken a hold to Karen and follows her around as much as she does me. And at night there’s that spot on the couch that she’s taken over which is usually curled up in the blanket by Karen as well. It’s a little strange, and I have no idea why but I think she realizes that if jobs do go through for me, that I won’t be around for the entire day the way I used to.

I did find out that the bump on her stomach is a benign tumor. She’s had it since she was very little and it’s gradually gotten bigger over the course of the last year so I’m going to have to bring her to the vet and see what they can do for me. I’m confident that it’s nothing too serious but I would like to get it taken care of so it can’t potentially turn into something fatal.

And on the topic of Cancer, Princess has been diagnosed with Cushings (as I’ve noted previously). The vet gave Karen a prescription for Kemo and we’re a little hesitant about giving it to her. She’s 22-pounds and they have her on 500MG of Kemo a day. Now, the documentation for this particular drug (LYSODREN known as Mitotane) notes that you should only have 50MG so naturally we’re thinking “Wait, won’t 10-times the amount be fatal?” We’ve verified with the Vet that the dosage is correct because of “her size” and I can only imagine what they’d give a large-breed dog that’s 100lbs. I don’t even want to think about it.

There are some other big things going on but they aren’t worth discussing right now, probably because I haven’t had time to process the bad news yet. I just hope things start to pick up and get back on track, or I have no idea what I’m going to do.

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Weekly Wrap-up.

Saturday, January 19th, 2008

The carpet cleaning turned out very well.¬† At first we were a little apprehensive about having every carpeted room done in the same day but it worked out OK.¬† The bedroom is squeaky clean and the office couldn’t get much better than it currently is.¬† I was very surprised with the way the living room worked out.¬† All pet stains and most odors (thanks to their deodorizing treatment) are gone.¬† Of course we left the dogs out of the room for a while until things dried up.¬† Unfortunately Princess is still pooping on the floor but when you’re 10 years old and trained to do everything in-house, you just don’t know any better.¬† At least there hasn’t been any urine on the floor, that acid in urine really is what kills the carpet to begin with.¬† So either way it worked out well and it was nice to see what this carpet looked like in a “brand new” state.

Sean and I have done pretty good this week,¬† something has sparked in us that has brought us out of the fighting slump and closer together to the point that we’re constantly joking around with each other and there’s no major frustration between us.¬† It’s not that we were having “trouble”, it’s just that current situations have been taking their toll on us. Luckily we’re over it now and things are great.

I’ve been hitting the bricks for a job in the area, I believe I came across an absolutely perfect one today that I found while surfing the web.¬† Maybe something good will come from it.¬† My main concern is reaching my goals by the end of the year and I’m confident that’ll happen if I’m hired by this employer.¬† The loan will be paid off, a car will be purchased and maybe a shiny new apartment is in the mix as well.

While I’m itching to get back to school, I’m thinking of holding off until the end of the year.¬† Since I’m under 24 and not living at home, even though my father is no longer responsible for me financially, I’d have to include him on the financial aid forms, unless I go towards a bachelors degree.¬† Up until recently I’ve decided upon DeVry and since that’s an associates my financial aid would be based on his income and since he makes like $65,000 a year, I doubt I’d really get anything covered by FAFSA.¬† So I’ll look into other routes and hopefully something will spring up.¬† I do know that I can hold off for a while, getting bills in order is more important to me right now anyway.

With my downtime I’ve been floating around the different dealerships in the general area.¬† I’m giving myself a $10,000 max budget on a car because spending anything more than that just to get me back and forth from work would be completely absurd.¬† Naturally this means I’m looking into a used car but I also find no point in owning a brand new one either.¬† Anything I can get from a dealership down here will be covered under whatever Warranty they happen to have, and that’s all that’s important to me at this point in time.¬† I’m sticking to Chevy though, it’s kind of a family tradition.¬† My father has owned them for years (even though he currently has a Jeep), my sister has a Chevy, my mother, step-father and lord knows who else, even Sean has one.¬† So to stay with it I’ve been looking into the Malibu or the Cobalt.¬† I have to say that the 2008 Malibu is absolutely gorgeous, but the price tag isn’t that attractive to me at this point in time – heh.

Anyhoo, it’s about 1:30 and I need to get myself ready for bed.¬† Time to take a quick shower, brush my teeth and curl up in bed with any random book I pull off the shelves until I fall asleep.

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